‘I rejected my niece’s adoption papers - I don’t want to be her mother’
A woman has revealed that after she said no to adopting her niece it has led to a huge family row. Explaining the situation, she told how her 14-year-old niece has been living with her since her parents went to prison five years ago for a drug-related charge.
She wrote on Reddit: “My sister is getting out later this year. She has been working very hard in prison to improve herself and got her GED. We are still very close and we talk via an app the prison provides and I take her daughter to visit her, along with her brother, who lives with his dad's brother, once a month.”
She went on: “We were having a birthday dinner at my mother's for myself and my daughter, 16. Most of my family was there. For my present, my niece decided to give me adoption request papers. I was stunned and just... Shook my head. I was so shocked and confused.
“The plan was she was always supposed to go home. My mother was upset by this request as well as my other siblings, and my husband couldn't think of what to do either. She never brought this up in counseling or anything. I can't do that to my sister, I would not be able to take care of her without support financially from my grandma, who would stop supporting if I agreed. This was never even a thought.”The woman added that she’s proud of how her sister has turned her life around in prison and when she gets out she has a home and a job waiting for her.
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Stunned but final in her refusal, the woman explained that her niece and daughter are both furious with her, saying that they “hate” her. She continued: “My son, 21, said it was probably something she got from TikTok and she will eventually get over it. My husband agrees with me, my siblings are staying out of it. My nephew isn't speaking to his sister now. It's a mess.”
People reading the post were torn, with many agreeing that she made the right decision but could have handled it better. One person replied: “There are a lot of feel-good videos about a child asking a relative, stepparent, or guardian to adopt them and it all ends in tears and hugging, so being 14, it might have been something she saw on social media. And it seems your 16-year-old daughter was in on it, too. Things like this should not be done in public unless the answer is a foregone conclusion.”
But other people disagreed, with one user added: “You’re the a**hole. It's not even debatable for me. You took her in for years from a small child till now. You raised her and clearly showed her love no one else was more capable of doing. Made her feel like she had a real mother figure. Made her feel loved, wanted, and like a part of your own immediate family. Her and your daughter clearly feel like sisters.
“You really have some screwed up priorities. I feel terrible for that girl who now found out all she ever was to any of you was a burden and placeholder to be good to her mom, who was never there for her. She will hate you all for a long time now. You came here, and still never even read the papers. Wow…”
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