Bridesmaid told to 'run' after pal's 'ridiculous' demands will cost her over £3k
A bridesmaid has shocked readers by detailing a list of demands being made by her friend ahead of her wedding.
The pair have known each other for more than 10 years - although their friendship has cooled in recent months, with the pair seeing far less of each other, and when they do speak "it's always wedding related". The bride in question wanted a three-year engagement in order to "soak up and enjoy the bridal experience" - and with the wedding now just six months away, the bridesmaid is having serious doubts.
Explaining her situation on Reddit, she shared some of the main issues that are bothering her - starting with the bride's decision to get rid of a family heirloom.
"Her fiancé gave her a family ring which she traded in for next to nothing saying it wasn't sentimental to HER," she wrote. "She convinced him to get a much more expensive one on credit that she designed. Not opposed to the nice ring, just seems sort of terrible she saw no value in the family ring to not even want to keep it for a future daughter or give it back? And if he wanted to finance a ring he would have."
Next up - since the bride doesn't have a Maid of Honour, she organised her bridal shower on Mother's Day because it was cheaper - preventing people from spending that time with their own mums. Thirdly, "For her bachelorette, she's made it a five day vacation trip to Arizona (from Seattle) with activities, dinners, and every outfit including our bikinis are planned and of course not provided.
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"She started hitting us up for money for it the week after Christmas saying now that we're past the holidays time to focus. She's not covering anything for the girls going, in fact, we're splitting her share. She told us she didn't want us planning these things bc she thought they wouldn't be as nice (what she didn't say is because what she's doing is more than any of us would want to or suggest spending bc it's not appropriate for this group of girls)."
And on the subject of the bachelorette, the bride had also invited a number of people not even invited to the wedding "to keep costs low". "So, for them she's asking them to spend thousands but won't spend a little on their spot at the wedding?"
Finally, again to keep costs down, the bride is holding her wedding mid-week, meaning the bridesmaid has to take two days off work and pay for her hotel. "She said hair and makeup is $300 (£340) + tip, plus a gift, + the $200 (£160) dress, shoes etc. When I asked about some of this stuff she was condescending and said they're normal wedding costs."
In conclusion, "I added up everything and I projected if I tried to stick to a modest budget, it would cost me like 3-4K to do all of this," the bridesmaid wrote.
"She was a part of my wedding when we were much closer friends five years ago. I paid for all her costs, her dress, 3+ dinners for her and her partner in New Orleans (it was a destination), paid for activities, accepted no gifts, and set no requirements on the rest. I was working in a restaurant at the time making a fraction of the money but I tried to do everything I could.
"Not saying that's what she should be doing, it's okay that we prioritise differently. It's just I partly feel obligated bc she was in my party, even though I would never demand all this. "AITA for drawing a line and saying I won’t do all this? It makes it harder bc she knows I probably could afford it, but would be choosing not to. Advice is appreciated!"
The Reddit community had plenty to say. "Oh hell no! I'd be dropping out asap," one person replied. "This girl is absolutely ridiculous and everything I hate about wedding culture. Spending 3 years engaged to 'soak up the bridal experience'? She can request you and the other girls to do all of these things but you're not required to do any of it and you shouldn't!"
A second added: "You shouldn’t even waste time on reading our comments. You could be dropping out of this money grubbing wedding instead! RUN!!!! A third simply wrote: "You and her are friendly, not friends. It doesn't sound like she's capable of being an actual friend to anyone." And a third wrote: "Since when did weddings become a cash grab for the bride? It's weird. These demands are beyond ridiculous. Bow out now while it's still early. You have no obligation to go into debt for bridezilla's dream Instagram profile."
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