'Fiancé wants to keep seat empty for dead friend at our wedding - it's a waste'
A furious bride-to-be has told how an unusual request from her fiancé regarding the guest list at their wedding has led to a rift between the soon-to-be-married pair. The 31-year-old shared how the couple, who have been together for four years, had been happily planning their big day, until it came to the seating arrangements, with his request for an empty seat leaving the bride-to-be ‘blindsided.’
She said: “Nicolás wanted to reserve a spot at our wedding for his friend, who passed away six years ago. While I understand the significance of honouring loved ones who have passed, the idea of dedicating a slot on our already very tight guest list to someone who won't physically be there just didn’t sit right with me.”
After expressing her concerns to him, she said it quickly turned into a heated debate between the pair, with her fiancé: “Unwilling to understand my perspective, which only added to my frustration.”
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To try to resolve the situation, she admitted that she brought up the 'friend fiasco' at dinner with her parents , who were funding their nuptials, a few days later, to get their thoughts on the situation: “I felt it was important for them to be aware of our guest list and seating arrangement. I suggested allocating the spot to a living friend or family member who would actually be present to celebrate with us, especially considering it's a small wedding.”
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After clarifying that the discussions were over the head table, she said: "Nicolas' plan was to seat us with my dad, mum, and sister on my side, and his mother, his aunt, and an empty chair on his side. Picture that.”
However, she said that while her mum and sister took her husband-to-be’s side, while her dad was on hers, her fiancé finally conceded, with the bride-to-be revealing: “He honestly didn't seem that upset about it.”
But while her fiancé was finally on board, she told how her mum seemed angry with her about the way it had been handled: “She told me I was out of line for bringing that to the conversation and it was a low-blow to put him on the spot like that in front of them.”
And while her mum kept bringing it up, she said she didn’t think it was that much of a big deal: “I love Nicolás, and I don't believe this disagreement reflects our feelings for each other. I simply think the focus of our wedding should be on us and our living loved ones. While honouring the memory of his friend is a nice gesture, I can't help but feel it's a matter of time and place.”
After admitting she had been struggling with the situation, and: “Didn’t want to bother our friend group with something this insignificant,” she headed to Reddit to find out what readers thought about the situation, and was shocked to find most comments were in support of her fiancé.
One said: “You disregarded his feelings, embarrassed him in front of his future in laws and trivialised something that means a great deal to him. Good luck with the marriage because this is a rocky start.”
Another agreed saying: "If she won’t concede on this, he better get ready to say “yes ma’am” for the rest of his life with her. I predict a “Happy wife Happy life” coffee mug in his future.”
One reader thought she had truly disregarded his feelings in the run up to the day: “Imagine not saving a chair for this poor dead friend just so a random plus one can attend. She has completely undermined her fiancé’s feelings. It’s blatantly obvious.”
"She's not mature enough to get married, yet,” advised another. “The reason it should be significant to her is because IT'S SIGNIFICANT TO HIM. Resentment is never a great way to start a marriage. Those marriages never last."
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