Mum's stern rule for children on school holidays splits opinion with parents

18 February 2024 , 07:00

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The mum's family branded it 'controlling and overbearing' (stock image) (Image: Getty)

One mum's bedtime routine rule has caused heated debate - but she swears by it.

For many parents, knowing just how to approach scheduling the school holidays can be a challenge. Whether you ensure your children's days are jam-packed with activities or you simply let the sense of timetable go and allow them to relax, everyone's parenting styles are different.

One mum had a pretty unique approach to the summer holidays, and when she shared the strict rule she enforces for her three teenage children during the long break, she divided opinion among other parents. She explained that as soon as each of her children reached the age of 13, she stopped giving them a bedtime and allowed them to choose when they went to sleep.

The mum explained back in 2020, that she didn't monitor when they went to bed on school days, as long as they got up in time for school and their grades remained at an acceptable level. However, on non-school days she enforces the rule that they must be up and out of bed by 8 am.

"My reasoning for having a wake time rather than a bedtime is because, as adults, no one will tell them when to go to bed, but they will have to get up for work, school, family, etc," she wrote.

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"It is to get them accustomed early to regulating their own sleep schedules before they enter college." At a recent family gathering, the subject of children's bedtimes came up and she said her relatives "wolf packed on me for how unwieldy unfair I am on my poor kids by having them get up in the morning".

"I was accused of being controlling and overbearing," she continued. "It became a bit heated and I went ahead and went home. I will point out, the kids were all excited when they turned 13, because 'go to bed' wasn't something they would hear anymore, and our youngest teenager is 13. I've been doing this for years and the kids haven't really complained."

When she asked for other opinions on her parenting choice on Reddit, some said enforcing the rule could actually be unhealthy for her three children, claiming studies have shown teenagers require more sleep and often have different sleep patterns to adults.

One said: "A teenage brain is still developing and studies show they actually need more sleep than adults."

A second replied: "I don't follow your logic. As an adult, I sleep as late as I want on days when I have no work, school, or other obligations. If you want your kids to have adult sleep habits, why not allow them the same?"

But one argued back: "This idea is actually wise. In the adult world, nobody cares what time you go to bed but you have to be up in the morning at certain times in order to have a job. By starting the discipline now they will grow up to get up on time in the morning."

Another added: "As long as your kids are healthy and happy, no one else's opinions really matter."

Having read the feedback, the mum said she spoke to her children about the studies she had read and the concerns and said at first they were all adamant about keeping the 8 am wake-up time.

When she explained the logic behind it and the importance of getting enough sleep, they pushed the time back to 9 am, adding they could still get up earlier if they wanted to keep the routine, but there was "zero pressure to do so".

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