Four reasons why you can't find love in modern day, according to MAFS UK expert
Married At First Sight UK relationship expert Paul C Brunson has revealed that there are four main reasons why single people are finding it almost impossible to find love in the modern age of dating.
Paul, who is best known for his matchmaking skills and dishing out vital relationship advice on Married At First Sight UK and Celebs Go Dating, has been deep-diving into the scientific research and reasons behind why hopeless romantics are finding it more difficult than ever to find their perfect match, and according to Paul - it's all down to four pretty huge factors.
Speaking exclusively to The Mirror following the release of his brand-new book, titled Find Love: How to Navigate Modern Love and Discover The Right Partner for you, Paul confessed that it's now more difficult to find love than any other time in modern history.
Four reasons why you can't find love in modern day, according to Celebs Go Dating expert (Matt Monfredi / Channel 4)
Paul says there are four main reasons why hopeless romantic's can't find love in the modern age (Ash Knotek/REX/Shutterstock for Channel Four)"It's now harder to find love and keep love today than any point in human history and there are four huge scientific factors and reasons behind this. It's all scientifically proven - but people must not give up hope because of these. Number one if that we have more variations of acceptable relationships today than any other time in history," Paul explained.
"If we look back to fifty years ago, in the UK and in the US, there was only one acceptable form of a relationship and that was hetreosexual, monogamous, and nobody divorced. You stuck it out, you had children, had a family, and your husband or wife were your partner - they were not everything in one. Whereas today, there are dozens of acceptable forms of relationships.
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"For example, today you could be all of those things - married and monogamous - but it would also be acceptable to live apart from one another. That would not have happened 50-years ago. You can also now be in a same-sex relationship or marriage without judgement. You could be polyamorous. So, this is why it's harder to find lasting love - we have more types of relationships so it becomes more challenging."
Love guru Paul then explained that those searching for love in modern society expect too much of their potential partners. This hinders them finding lasting love because they are searching for perfection and hoping that their partner will not only be their other half, but also their best friend, and everything in between.
"Secondly,we are demanding more from our partners than ever before," Paul added. "Fifty years ago, you might not have needed your partner to be your intellectual. They were simply your sex partner and you co-parented with them.
"However, in today's age, we want our partners to be everything - incredible sex partners, we want them to be our exact equals, we want them to be on the same level as us educationally and financially, we want them to be emotionally intelligent and not to have any icks. We are demanding more from one person than ever before - and standards are extremely high."
Paul has been doing his research on how impossible it is to find love in 2024 (Channel 4)Paul then revealed that the third reason why singles find it so difficult to find love is not talking about enough in the UK. The Celebs Go Dating expert explained that due to undiagnosed trauma and stress, people are finding it harder to trust in relationships.
"We are more traumatised and stressed than ever before. I've done my research and 50% to 60% of us are literally walking around with undiagnosed trauma and if you look at the rates of anxiety and stress post-Covid, they have gone up three to four times than they were prior. So, because we are more stressed, anxious, and literally traumatised, we see the world very differently and it's harder to actually make decisions about love and life because of that. The most important decision we'll ever make in our lives is who our partner for life should be - so there's immense pressure," Paul explained.
Lastly, the love guru explained that society has changed dramatically and this is a huge factor as to why hopeless romantics are finding it almost impossible to find love - despite being the best versions of themselves and having everything going for them in their personal and professional lives. Paul explained: "Society has changed, so we often times don't put enough emphasis on how an economic crisis will change how and why we form relationships. For example, if you're a single woman under the age of 30, you are now more educated and make more money than men. You have to see that this changes a lot. There is a massive gender imbalance happening and it's not talked about enough in terms of polyamory. More women are single because their standards are so high, and there are fewer single men.
"This is an example of how an economic crisis has changed the way we date and the way we find love. We're demanding more from our partners, we're traumatised, we have more variations of relationship types and this is why people are finding it so difficult to find love," Paul added.
However, the relationships expert has insisted there is still hope. "You can't give up. You truly cannot give up. If you are fully healed and you deal with your trauma, and if you show up as the best version of yourself and keep your standards high but not impossibly high, then love will happen for you. You have to also believe that you deserve it. It's hard when you've been hurt in the past, it can be scarring and jarring to open up again, but in order to find lasting love we have be open."
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