'My husband left me after 25 years because I have cancer - I'm devastated'
A woman diagnosed with cancer two years ago has revealed her ‘heartbreak and horror’ after dealing with her shock health news out of the blue led to some marital news she wasn’t expecting either.
After telling how she had been married to her husband for 25 years, she admitted that her Multiple Myeloma cancer (a blood cancer that develops in plasma cells in the bone marrow) diagnosis – two years ago was truly life changing for her, in more ways than one.
Admitting that her husband had been ‘wonderful’ at the start, taking care of their home and pets, she told how her first round of cancer treatment had been ‘awful’ leading to debilitating side effects and leaving her with a large tumour on her chest and a hunched back.
She said: “I'm not sure when it started, but my husband stopped coming to bed and sleeping on the couch. He wouldn't go to doctors appointments unless I specifically asked him to go. He wouldn't give me hugs or if he did, they were half-hearted.”
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But when she confronted her husband before Christmas, she said he shut down: “The more I pushed for him to talk to me, the more nasty he got.” On New Year’s Eve she was left truly ‘blindsided’ after her husband told her: “Congratulations, your worst nightmare is going to come true. You're going to die alone.”
After asking him what she’d done, she recalled: “He screamed at me that he didn't want to be married to me anymore,” revealing he left that night and has refused to speak to her since, picking things up from the house when needed, but not contributing to anything financially anymore.
She said: “He stopped paying my car payment and it got repossessed. He hasn't made the mortgage payment. Thankfully, the power is still on and he hasn't shut off my phone. I am on disability through my former employment, but it isn't nearly enough.”
And with two dogs and five cats to look after, she admitted that while struggling with his bombshell break-up, she was also struggling physically with the household chores: “I do the best I can. He still has not told me what the problems are in our relationship. All of this has blindsided me,” she said, admitting she’s been a ‘crying mess’ for months and is unable to move forward.
“How does someone who has loved you for over half our lives suddenly become so vicious and uncaring? He was a sweet, affectionate, protective husband until he wasn't. I can't wrap my mind around it. How does he justify it in his mind?”
Reddit readers were also shocked by her husband's heartless behaviour, with one commenting: “This is my nightmare. To be abandoned by the person you love the most in your greatest time of need,” while many others shared their own similar stress-inducing situations: “I was diagnosed with a serious disease after being with my wife for 14 years,” said one.
"A switch flipped in my wife and she became nasty and resentful, saying she'd have never married me if she knew this would happen. She told me she wished it was her because she'd rather die than waste the rest of her life with me.”
Another reader said: “I didn't realise how unusual it was for my dad to continue being a loving husband after my mum went from the primary breadwinner to permanently disabled. For most men, marriage vows seem to mean: ‘for better until you can no longer serve me.”
For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email [email protected], visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website. If in the United States, you can dial the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or go to
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