Dad bursts into tears when long-lost son tracks him down after 35 years
A guilt-ridden dad has finally met his firstborn son after spending 35 years wondering whether they'd ever have a relationship. He explained how his high school girlfriend came to learn she was pregnant around the same time their relationship 'blew up in smoke'.
However, she convinced the man her unborn child was actually fathered by her new partner - and not him. But he has carried this with him through his entire life - and decided to take an at-home DNA test in the hope he'd one day uncover the truth.
He said on Reddit: "I received a notification through a genetic website last week from a member who had just taken the DNA test. The message started 'I know this is kind of weird' to which I can only say this is an understatement.
"I dated what I thought was the love of my life in high school and a bit after but the relationship ended badly - I desperately wanted to continue with the relationship but she was done. She started dating other guys and a short time later told everyone she was pregnant and ended up marrying the guy.
"She assured me that the baby was not mine and in "no way could be" but I have always wondered. Fast forward 35 years and I receive a message from my son that I never really knew about (as well as several grandchildren)."
Greggs, Costa & Pret coffees have 'huge differences in caffeine', says report
Read more: 'I took DNA test for a laugh - and accidentally uncovered my mum's devious past'
He says the "surreal and emotional" moment caused him to mourn the relationship he never got to have with his son - but he now hopes he'll be accepted as part of his life. He added: "It resulted in feelings of incredible guilt and sadness related to the loss of the long-term relationship and "what could have been" if I had been allowed to be a part of his life.
"Don't get me wrong, I have built a wonderful life - married for 30+ years, four grown children, two grandchildren, and thriving career, and basically everything I've really wanted. I am not sure why I have been so tearful and choked up the past week because I know in my heart that this was not what I wanted at the time and it was not my decision at all.
"I was not sure if I was going to respond and instead spoke with my wife who has been incredibly understanding, supportive, and encouraging and suggested that this is a relationship that I probably need to explore, not only for me but for the wellbeing of my long lost son.
"So, I did respond and have spoken with him on the phone a couple of times and I think we both want to explore the possibility of a relationship but I also want to be sure I am not pressuring him in any way and of course know that the truth, the relationship engagement to the level he and his wife are comfortable with. I also don't want this to harm the relationships he has with his siblings and mother."
He praised his son for his "strength and courage" to reach out to him, not knowing whether he'd respond or even want a relationship with him. Seeking advice, he added: "I just can't help the profound feelings of guilt for not being there for my son and sorrow for the 35 years that were lost. I cried on the phone with him several times to the point we had to pause the conversation for a few minutes each time for me to regain my composure.
"Any suggestions on how I should proceed with building these new life-changing relationships, introducing four half-siblings, all while trying not to harm anything good in anyone's life that they have already built?" Commenting on his post, one user said: "Same situation, except I am the child and I was the one who found out first. My biodad is great and I am so happy we connected.
"Biggest piece of advice is to let your son control the progression of the relationship. Don't be forceful and if you aren't sure about something, just ask." Another user added: "My friend's mum was adopted and reached out to her long-lost bio mum. The bio mum literally just told her essentially, 'I’m glad you’re doing fine but you’re still a secret to my whole family and I don’t want a relationship.'
"I’ve heard that sort of response is more common than not, especially from dads. So the fact that you even engaged with him is huge and awesome. There's no right way to integrate the families but he's taking on a whole new identity, too. You’re the dad. Let him set the pace, just like you’d let your other kids set the pace."
A third user said: "My brother found his father a few years ago, the exact same way. He had no idea he had a 40-year-old son. When he and my mom split, she did not tell him she was pregnant. My brother now has a little brother the same age as one of his kids. The families are very close now, and it's wonderful to see at least one of my siblings be able to have a relationship with their birth father! I hope you can find some comfort in connecting with your son."
'I tricked my sister into giving her baby a stupid name - she had it coming'
Read more similar news:
Comments:
comments powered by Disqus
