Mum's trauma of son dying led her to face up to own issue 'that took over life'
A mum has told how the trauma of watching her son die from alcohol-related illness led her to tackle her own drink problem.
Mhairi Doyle, from Merseyside, was a happily married young mum with three children and a career but she said that drinking alcohol had been the "norm" throughout most of her life.
"I drank at home. I was a typical alcoholic. When I was drinking, I wasn't there for my children. It took over my life," she said. "I knew I was wasn't drinking normally, but I didn't know how to stop."
Heavy drinking had been part of her family for generations but one day - March 6, 1986 - Mhairi walked into an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and hasn't had a drink since. She added: "At that first AA meeting they told me if you don't pick up the first drink, you won't get drunk. I thought that was brilliant! But if it had been as easy as that there wouldn't be a story. It was really hard work."
Talking about her inspirational road to recovery, she continued: "I had three children - I've got two children now. They went through my drinking with me, but they also came through my recovery." And she told of the "human cost" of alcohol dependency.
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"My oldest son started drinking when he was 13-years-old. His life was not a happy life - he was never at peace with himself," she said. He was diagnosed with encephalitis, when he was 13, that he got from chickenpox. She believes this altered his brain make-up and led to him becoming more withdrawn.
Mhairi told the Liverpool Echo: "It was actually encephalitis that brought me to AA because I just thought I need to do something about this." Tragically, this was the first step on a trajectory which ultimately led to Mhairi's son dying of alcohol-related illness. She said: "I sat there for a week watching his organs shutting down one after the other.
"The medical team then did a scan on him and found he was brain dead. They waited for my daughter to come across and we both sat there with him and told him he was loved. Then he died." She added: "It was a difficult time because I always wondered 'could I have done more? By facilitating his drinking, all I was doing was facilitating his death. That realisation hit hard."
Feelings of guilt are not uncommon among the families of people suffering from alcohol dependency. Mhairi said: "People don't know where to turn to and often end up between a rock and a hard place. Things have to change."
Mhairi is now a councillor for Sefton and she's committed to facilitating the changes in alcohol policy which will save lives. She said: "With support, I've broken the cycle of alcoholism within my family. None of my grandchildren have seen me drunk. I have a great-grand-daughter who was born two weeks ago - she will never see her granny drunk.
"My children will never see me drunk ever again because it's not an issue in my life any more. Recovery is not easy but it can be done. People can look at me. Things can change. I am change."
She is supporting Sefton Council as they call on the Government to establish a National Alcohol Strategy. The aim of this proposal is to further support the borough's dependent drinkers and provide more treatment for people who need it.
Cllr Doyle is quick to differentiate between alcohol dependency and the social and casual consumption of drink. She said: "The call for a National Alcohol Strategy is all about raising awareness of the risks of alcohol, providing education around use and advocate for more resources to treat those suffering from alcohol dependency. I will always be shouting about this because people don't know where to turn to and that needs to change today."
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