'I spied on my wife with a nanny cam but she won't discuss what I saw'
Smile, you're on camera!
Many parents have been guilty of gossiping about their guests whilst leaving the baby monitor downstairs - which can lead to some awkward conversation around the dinner table. With the invention of nanny cams, Ring doorbells, and CCTV cameras, you have to be a little more careful about what you say out loud.
But one man accidentally spied on his wife when the nanny cap app alerted him at work. He says when he opened his phone he was taken straight to a livestream of his living room, where his two children and his wife were. However, something looked very odd.
Taking to Reddit back in 2020, the anonymous father of twin boys said he saw his wife sitting on her tablet, while their sons play fought with one another - something they're not allowed to do. But it was what his wife was wearing that really worried him.
In the clip he recalls his wife wearing noise-cancelling headphones and completely ignoring what their kids were doing. "I was concerned and decided to talk to her that night, but that afternoon I had the urge to check the app again," he wrote.
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And after taking a look, he became even more concerned about his wife's behaviour. He continued: "The [boys] were eating unthawed breaded mozzarella sticks from the freezer box while my wife was FaceTiming someone and still wearing her noise-cancelling headphones. It was so bizarre and unexpected, I took a look at older videos throughout the week and every time, she had her headphones on and was practically ignoring the kids."
The dad confronted his wife about it when he got home and she was furious he'd been spying on her. "She got upset with me for looking through a week of videos instead of coming to her right away when I'd noticed the camera was recording when it shouldn't be. She said I should have told her and not watched," he added.
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The husband explained how he just wanted to talk about her behaviour, to see if anything was wrong. However, she 'just shut down' and said she was fine, before berating him for looking through the footage.
He added: "I feel worried; it's like a switch seems to flip when she's alone with the kids versus when she knows someone is watching. She's so attentive and present when we're doing stuff as a family, or with family friends around. But it looked like she was 100 percent checked out when she thought nobody would see."
Some people thought the husband was in the right for being worried. "They're your children and you have the right to worry about them," commented one user. "Likewise, she's your wife and you should have a mature conversation about this like mature adults. The fact that the kiddos aren't supervised enough to the point of eating unthawed food is horrible! You are NOT in the wrong for worrying about her or her actions."
Someone else replied: "I’m a childcare provider and have worked as a nanny. It can be exhausting and boring spending ten to twelve hours with three year olds— I’m sympathetic to someone who wants to check their phone real quick or keep a podcast on in the background to hear an adult voice. What you’re describing is not that and I find the noise cancelling headphone particularly disturbing."
However after the husband took to the comments to say he only looks after the kids on his own once or twice a week, many others slammed him, saying his wife clearly needs a break. A different user wrote: "Parenting isn’t about interacting 24/7. Kids need independent play too and to learn to play with each other without a parent always being involved... Stop spying on your wife. You’re not her boss."
Another added: "Uhm, dude? Taking care of kids is actually exhausting like you wouldn't believe. She kind of needs those breaks." While a third commented: "He is actively spying on her in her own home. Horrifying."
Who do you think is in the wrong? Let us know in the comments section below
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