'Parents stole my college fund to pay for my seriously ill sister - I'm furious'

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A 'neglected' 17-year-old doesn't want to give up his college fund for his adopted sister (Image: Getty Images)

A teenager has recounted how his grandparents set up a fund for him so he could go to college because his parents had always put him last when it came to paying for anything. The 17-year-old, who is the eldest child, has said that his siblings and kids his parents had fostered always got trips and other things paid for them, but he was left out.

He said that his grandparents once gave him money for a trip but that his folks took it off him to use for the household, which enraged his relatives, so they then set up a college fund for him that his parents could not access. The fund has grown into a sizeable amount but his five-year-old adopted sister needs major stomach surgery and he has been asked to fork out for it from his fund.

He says he has refused, in part because he had surgery delayed by his folks so they could prioritise medical treatment for two of his siblings and two of their foster kids, and because he found out that his siblings have had money saved for them by his parents. But his mum and dad are now saying he is selfish. However other users of Reddit have said that he is right to not give up the money.

The boy, who is one of two biological children the couple have, said: "My parents were able to make sure all my younger siblings had at least one activity outside of school to do but they never did that for me. I was forced to play football when I was five but by the time I was seven my parents had started fostering and I was no longer doing that. My siblings all get to do something they like. Cora does dance for example. Some of my other siblings are in music classes.

"I had dozens of foster siblings over the years as well. My parents have struggled to make time and have the money for all of us. It has meant a lot of sacrificing and mostly on my part. The younger kids were also prioritised with school field trips. So they always got to go while I haven't since I was six."

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He said that the last time, when he had the chance of a trip when he was nine his folks told him to work for the money and that's when his grandparents first forked out cash for him. But his parents took the money, leaving the grandparents fuming about it. He said they also delayed his tonsil surgery by two years because they prioritised the other kids.

He added: "My grandparents saw how much I was getting the short end of everything with my parents and they set up a college fund for me. My parents know about it but cannot access it. They only know because of a fight with my grandparents over the lack of saving for my future when they have saved something for my siblings. My parents said the money my grandparents saved should be divided equally because £277,000 ($350K) is a lot to save for one grandchild when you have multiple."

He explained that he has plans for the cash, but that because his adopted sister needs the operation and aftercare, to "give her a chance at living with less pain and stomach complications. It could give her a more normal childhood because she can't do a lot". But his parents don't have the £213K ($270k) for the procedures.

They said to him they would try to give him some back, but they may need more if there's complications, so he told them no and they "lost it" with him, saying he was selfish. He argued back that they take from him all the time and asked why they don't use the money they have saved for his siblings instead, adding: "They said I am putting college before my sister's future and accused me of being unwilling because she's my sister through adoption and not my bio sister. Am I the a***hole?"

And fellow users of the site said he was right to demand they use other money, with one saying: "Your parents are trying to rob you of your future. You are going to need that money very soon and won't have an opportunity to get it back," while another said: "I expect your grandparents have protected it somehow. You could tell your parents if they want money, they need to talk to your grandparents about it (or tell your grandparent yourself that your parents are pressuring you to give them the money), but you would not be the a****** if you didn't want to risk it."

Another poster said: "It is nothing but a money grab by your parents. From your info, they have stolen/taken money from you before. Why is this any different? They are just looking for suckers to finance their lifestyle. And even if you did give the money to them. It won't be long before they have another 'emergency'. Using or creating an 'emergency' is con-artist tactic #1."

Paul Donald

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