Ex-teacher took own life after discovering husband 'cycling with another woman'
A former teacher who took her own life said she "wanted to disappear" after finding out her estranged husband had been out "cycling with another woman", an inquest heard.
Catherine Disbury, 41, moved out of her marital home after her relationship with husband Noel broke down. After learning he had been seen cycling with another woman, she texted her sister: "It's absolutely sent me off. Why is he doing this to me? I just want to disappear. I don't have the energy."
An inquest into her death heard that before taking her own life, she sent Mr Disbury a voice note saying: "This is entirely on you. I hope you feel really f***ing guilty because I hate you for everything you have done to me." Ms Disbury, known as Cate, was found hanged in her bedroom at her cousin's house, where she had been living, on September 10, 2023.
Born in Aldershot and the eldest of three daughters, she moved to Manchester in the early 2000s. She completed her A-levels and then went on to study psychology at the University of Leicester before working in mental health and then becoming a primary school teacher, the inquest heard. "She always put others before herself," her sister Victoria Jones said in a statement read out at Rochdale Coroners' Court on Tuesday.
Ms Disbury was 'a lot of fun and outgoing', loved playing hockey for Didsbury Greys and socialising with friends, according to Ms Jones, who added that her sister had suffered from mental health problems including eating disorders 'from a young age'.
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She married Mr Disbury, a designer, in 2011. They did not have children, the inquest was told. In 2011 her mother died and in June the following year her father took his own life, prompting Ms Disbury to go through a 'bad time' with her own mental health, said Ms Jones, reported the Manchester Evening News.
The inquest heard that Ms Disbury's relationship with her husband had broken downMs Disbury began a Masters degree and her husband 'supported her to do that', the inquest was told. She then left her job as a primary school teacher, having been deputy head at Belmont primary school in Rawtenstall, and began working for Manchester council in January 2023 where she was an advocate for children from difficult backgrounds.
In July 2023 her husband 'indicated he didn't see a future' in their marriage, a development which Ms Disbury found 'difficult to come to terms with', said Ms Jones. After learning he wanted a divorce, she moved out of the marital home in Blackley and into her cousin's home in Middleton, the court was told. Ms Disbury had a history of self-harm and two weeks after the split, she indicated she had tried to take her own life, said Ms Jones. She stayed in contact with her sister 'most days' via text.
After marking what would have been her father's birthday on August 31, Ms Disbury texted her sister to say she was feeling better and her issues appeared to be 'more resolved', said Ms Jones. But then on September 8, she had a text from Ms Disbury saying she was 'feeling fed up' after discovering her husband had been out cycling with another woman, the court was told.
Ms Disbury was said to have texted her sister: "It's absolutely sent me off. Why is he doing this to me? I just want to disappear. I don't have the energy." Alison Hogg, the family's lawyer, asked the witness whether she believed it had been Ms Disbury's intention to take her own life at the time she was found dead, and Ms Jones replied: "I do that night, yes."
Ms Disbury had been living at the Middleton home of her cousin Garry Clark, who said in a statement read out at the inquest she moved in following the split from her husband. Mr Clark said he had heard Ms Disbury crying 'a few times' but she appeared to recover. He told the court he had seen Ms Disbury estranged husband cycling with a woman he didn't recognise near Hollingworth Lake. The witness said he recalled Ms Disbury arriving home 'a bit loud' after she had been out drinking. She told him she had learned her husband had been seen cycling with a woman.
Mr Clark said he told Ms Disbury he had also seen him with the woman. "She was bothered and upset but not to the point I was worried she would do anything," he said. Mr Clark said he later heard Ms Disbury 'sobbing' but he didn't go into her room to give her 'her own space'. Later he went into the room to get her up and found her dead. He said he called the ambulance service and tried CPR as instructed over the phone. "I knew there was no point. I knew she was dead," he said.
Det Sgt Jenna O'Brian told the inquest she found no suspicious circumstances surrounding the death. The detective said a colleague spoke to Mr Disbury, who played a voice note his estranged wife had sent him, in which she said: "This is entirely on you. I hope you feel really f***ing guilty because I hate you for everything you have done to me."
Ms Disbury's voice had sounded 'straight-forward' as she delivered the message, the inquest was told. Mr Disbury did not appear at the inquest. Ms Disbury's GP, Dr Catherine Hopkins, said in a statement her patient had been prescribed the anti-depressant citalopram since 2011 and that a review conduced in May 2022 had concluded she had been 'doing well' on the medication. This medication was found on Ms Disbury's bedside table alongside her mobile phone following her death,
A post-mortem examination concluded Ms Disbury's death was caused by hanging while toxicology tests revealed she had consumed some alcohol and had Citalopram in her system, although 'not to excess'. Recording a suicide verdict, Assistant Coroner Michael Salt noted the breakdown of Ms Disbury's marriage and said this 'clearly has had a tremendous effect upon her'.
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Following the hearing, Ms Disbury's sisters Victoria and Elizabeth paid tribute to her, saying: "She was beautiful. She was loved and she was incredibly selfless. She would always give up her own time for the benefit of others." Ms Disbury volunteered at a cat sanctuary and had worked with children with special needs during her teaching career. She was also chair of Didsbury Greys hockey club, where she had finished the previous season as top scorer, they said.
In her memory, a gofundme page was set up by friends at the hockey club to raise cash for Manchester Dogs ' Home and the Campaign Against Living Miserably. So far it has raised more than £4,700. The appeal says: "Cate has been an important part in the structure of Didsbury Greys. Her dedication to the club is reflected in her leadership, her dedication to all aspects of club life and her values support towards all members. Her loss will be deeply felt by all who knew her both on and off the hockey pitch. She will be greatly missed by all."
The Samaritans is available 24/7 if you need to talk. You can contact them for free by calling 116 123, email [email protected] or head to the website to find your nearest branch. You matter.
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