Former Playboy Mansion star Kendra Wilkinson felt she was 'dying of depression'

18 January 2024 , 16:44

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Kendra lived at the Playboy Mansion from 2004 to 2009

Former Playboy Mansion star Kendra Wilkinson admitted she felt like she was dying of depression" before getting help.

The 38-year-old shot to fame as one of Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends, alongside Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt, when she starred in the hit reality series The Girls Next Door. The show, which first aired in 2005, followed the women as they lived and worked in the lavish Playboy Mansion, but Kendra left in 2009 after meeting Hank Baskett, whom she later married.

She was admitted to hospital in September last year after suffering a debilitating panic attack, and confessed she "hit rock bottom", leaving her fearing for her life. She reached out to ex-husband Hank, whom she split from in 2018, and recalled feeling like she had no control over her head or her body as was in a "state of panic".

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Kendra said the Playboy Mansion 'messed up' her life (Getty Images)

In a candid interview with People, mother-of-two Kendra said Playboy "really messed up my whole life", and her hospitalisation last year was the final straw. "I was dying of depression. I was hitting the end of my life, and I went into psychosis. I felt like I wasn’t strong enough to live anymore," she admitted, adding that it was the "lowest place I’ve ever been in my life".

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While she insisted she would never take her own life, Kendra said she "couldn’t see in front of my depression", and "had no hope". However, she was forced to call ex-husband Hank, who drove her to the hospital, and she said it was a"“big day" for their family when she finally accepted help with her mental wellbeing.

"I didn’t realise how bad I was suffering or what people were seeing of me until I got there," Kendra sadly added. The TV star, who shares son Hank IV, 14, and daughter Alijah Mary, nine, with Hank, has now been placed on anti-psychotic medication, and is in therapy, but she admitted it was hard looking back on the difficult periods of her life.

She was living with Hugh from 2004 to 2009 (Getty Images)

Kendra regrets her time in the Playboy Mansion (WireImage)

Kendra said she has had to "face my demons" and recognised she had a lot of issues that began when she was only 15. She recalled struggling with depression before she entered the Playboy Mansion, and "drank a lot" to cover up her misery, but that later manifested into "deep regret" when she left Hugh, who was 60 years older than her, to start a new life with Hank.

Now, she’s on a mission to "correct loopholes" in her life so her daughter Alijah doesn’t go through the same things she endured as a teenager. "I don’t want my daughter sexualised like I was," she angrily stated. "These are things I’m trying to correct in my parenting to my daughter. What can I do to show her that she’s more than that?"

Emma Wilson