Ferne McCann says she became 'depressed' after settling for TOWIE over Hollywood
Ferne McCann admitted she thought she was going to "have it all" when she found fame on TOWIE.
The reality star has revealed she was desperate to make it in Hollywood, but settled for TV instead. She has confessed she "always wanted to be famous" and "wanted that fame" a celebrity has. Ferne, 33, joined The Only Way Is Essex during its ninth season in 2013, having watched her friends become a part of the show.
She says she "manifested" her chance to become part of TOWIE after working as a hairdresser. In an exclusive first look at her latest interview shared with The Mirror, Ferne admitted: "I used to sit on the London commute, thinking I want to be on TV, I want to be performing. I want to be doing something like that and just had a real thirst for it."
Speaking to Ellie McKay on her On a Mission podcast, Ferne confessed she became a "b****y character". She said: “I look back at TOWIE and think, 'Wow, I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to be on that show'. I described it before like the perfect storm, because people want the airtime - they end up getting into arguments and behaving not like themselves and then you have to watch it back.
"The turnaround of the show is really quick and you're like but that's not me. But why did I say that? Because you want the airtime and then you end up, I ended up, sort of becoming a character - being this character, this b****y character with real people in my life. So it was my real boyfriend in my life and then his family were on the show and then my best friend's were the show."
TOWIE's Chloe Brockett makes cheeky dig at Saffron Lempriere during filmingFerne added: "So it's just such a surreal thing to watch back what your boyfriend or their family would be saying about you, and it is confusing and it massively, massively affected my mental health." The mum-of-two left TOWIE in series 13, when she was "desperate" to get out.
She confessed: "I had a pretty tough time on the show mentally. It's like the perfect storm, everyone wants the airtime and the nature of the show is to have arguments with people so we'd have arguments on the show and then I would be left feeling absolutely horrendous and really down and quite depressed and being like, ;I just want to get out of this show. I need to move on to something'."
Speaking of her wish to break America, Ferne said: "I wanted to be in Hollywood, but I ended up you know, in reality... I didn't quite get the Hollywood movies, but here we are." She added: "I just always loved that celebrity culture and wanted to be in the limelight. And then you get there and you're like, ‘what have I done?’ Like, nothing comes easy, does it? It's not gonna be like, all singing and dancing, and I thought it was going to be an amazing lifestyle. You know, if you're famous you have it all."