Woman with compulsive need to pull out her hair opens up about tough condition
A woman has been left almost completely bald and even has patchy eyebrows - as she has a disorder and compulsively pulled out her own hair. Becka Gaul, 28, has a recurring dream where she wakes with a full head of flowing locks, but in reality, she has trichotillomania which has left her with just thinning wisps of hair on the sides of her head.
Trichotillomania, also known as trich, is where someone cannot resist the urge to pull out their hair - and some, like Becka, take it such extremes that they even pull out their eyebrows and eyelashes. Becka, from Oxford, has now spoken out about her condition to raise awareness of the rare condition.
Becky wears a hat to keep her head covered (Becka Gaul/Hook News)
Beneath it, she has next to no hair (Becka Gaul/Hook News)Do you know any one with trich? Let us know in the comments...
Becka said: "I often have dreams where I wake up one day and my head is completely full of hair, and then I wake up for real and I'm really sad about it. I start the day with disappointment."
Becka's trichotillomania began when she was just 11 after fretting over upcoming SAT exams.
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"I was getting really, really stressed," she says. "I pulled a hair one day, and it just kind of made things better. So I kept doing it.
"It didn't hurt at all. I'd run my fingers through my hair to find any strands that felt different from the others - like when you get a crinkle in your hair.
"I'd single them out and pull them one strand at a time. It wasn't a massive deal at first - it was just a couple of strands here and there.
"But then it just progressed until I had a 50p-sized shape on top of my head that had no hair on it."
Becka tried to cover up her bald patch by brushing her hair over it and fixing it in place with layers of hairspray.
"A couple of people at school did notice all the same," she says. "I blamed it on a bad reaction to my shampoo."
As a child, Becka had long blonde hair (Becka Gaul/Hook News)
She didn't lose it until she was a teenager (Becka Gaul/Hook News)However, her hair loss made her a target for playground bullies - which inevitably made the condition even worse.
She confided in mum, Jane, who decided to educate her daughter at home to spare her from the stress and bullying she was suffering in school.
But although Becka thrived in her studies, she couldn't shake her obsession with tugging her hair and by the age of 15 needed a wig to hide her baldness.
"Mum was amazing," recalls Becka. "She wasn't angry or upset with me - she just wanted to help.
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"But my hair pulling was uncontrollable. Once it started there was no stopping it. I even pulled my eyelashes and eyebrows out. Some of the eyelashes hurt, but everything else just felt comforting."
Becka sought help from a GP and tried to get a wig through the NHS, but says she was turned down for "vanity reasons".
"My GP didn't really have an explanation for what was going on, I had to do my own online research to work out I had trich," explains Becka.
Becka started pulling her hair out due to exam stress (Becka Gaul/Hook News)
Now she's almost completely bald (Becka Gaul/Hook News)"When I tried to get a wig on the NHS I was declined - I was told it wasn't for a medical reason, like alopecia or chemotherapy, it was vanity.
"At that point, mum was buying wigs for me at anything from £80 to £180. They were synthetic and got ruined quite quickly, so I needed a new one every few months.
"I hated the look of them, and didn't want anyone to see me or know that I was wearing one.
"There was one time when I was walking to the local shop with mum around school finishing time. We passed a group of lads who were laughing and joking, and one reached out and grabbed the bottom of my wig.
"It slipped to the side and I was mortified. It got to the point where I was scared of meeting anyone new or having someone look at me in the street, so I ended up just staying in all the time."
Becka says her condition made her a virtual recluse through her teens and into early adulthood.
She missed her GCSEs because she couldn't face going to exams, and constant anxiety killed her chances of finding work.
One salvation, however, has been her partner Paul Comley, 29.
Becka recently met her partner, Paul Comley (Becka Gaul/Hook News)
Paul loves Becka's 'fuzzy' head (Becka Gaul/Hook News)The pair met online and moved in together two years ago.
"He's very supportive," says Becka, who now runs a home-based mug printing business - rainbowprint.co.uk - alongside Paul.
"He's not phased at all by my trich, he loves stroking my fuzzy head.
"He'll run his hand over my head if he's passing, or stroke it when we're cuddled up watching a film. It's really comforting."
Although she's tried, Becka has been unable to kick her hair-pulling habit.
Medication has helped with her anxiety, but Becka says her social life is still reduced to occasional walks in the park with Paul, or nights in with their close circle of friends.
Attempts at hypnotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy have failed to cure her of trichotillomania, which in the UK affects around 350,000 people.
The NHS says it can be triggered by stress or anxiety, chemical imbalances in the brain, or changes in hormone levels during puberty.
"To me, it's a comfort thing," she explains. "I don't always know I'm doing it, it's very subconscious. If I'm sat at my computer, my hand will go to my head. Paul usually lets me know what I'm doing so I'm aware and can make the choice.
"I try to wear a hat in the house as a deterrent, to stop me getting to my head. But I've still not got 80 per cent of my hair, still wearing synthetic wigs, still not going out."
For now, Becka is pinning her hopes on 2023 bringing her a cure for her condition.
"My ultimate goal is to find the willpower to stop!" she says. "The longest I've gone is a month, but I can't overthink it too much or make a plan because it just goes to pieces.
"And I'm realistic about my prospects - even when my hair does grow back it's quite sparse and pure white because I've damaged my follicles.
"I could live with that, though. I think white could be quite a striking look!"
For advice and support on the condition please visit www.trichotillomania.co.uk
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