Man says nickname made him notice addiction issues when pals knocked on his door
A struggling man says his nickname made him realise the extent of his issues with alcohol, drugs and gambling - and a knock on the door helped turn his life around.
Abbey Choudhury from Toxteth, Merseyside, heard his pals were worried he was dead after nobody had heard from him for days. He made the decision on December 27, 2018, that he was going to "get completely honest" with himself and he began a battle with his addictions; relapsing at times due to using while in rehab.
The 46-year-old began his journey of recovery in 2018 when he attended an AA meeting. He later referred himself to the Self Help Addiction Recovery Programme, known as SHARP, after spending some time at The Brinks, Brink of change Group which prepares people for more intense rehab that it offers.
Speaking to the Liverpool Echo, he said: "I self referred to SHARP and had been in there about nine days and had three relapses. On the final relapse I failed the drug and alcohol test and my counsellor gave me a hug and said go back to the Brink and spend some time there.
"When I walked out, I called it a wake up moment because I made a decision on the steps that day to go The Brink or get in my car and go home and drink myself to death. I realised if I got honest with myself, because I’m in rehab and I’m still drinking and using so it was no point being there. From that day, December 27, 2018 once I was honest with myself it set me free, like a key and I've kind of not looked back".
'I stopped drinking booze on dates and it made life much more exciting'
Abbey had been drinking since the age of 13, but it was in his early 20s when it all started to get a grip of him. He was drinking, using Class A drugs and gambling. He would drink every night and earned the nickname Drunken Sailor from friends. He did not see his problem and joked about the name not realising the message in it.
The 'Drunken Sailor' fought to beat his addictions or 'go home and drink myself to death' (Abbey Choudhury)
How he now looks since recovering from his addictions (Abbey Choudhury)The drink and drug problems landed him in prison in 2005 and he said "this was the first lowest point" when he served three years from a five and a half year sentence for drug offences. He said: "The second lowest point was getting a knock on my door from three of my closest friends who said 'everyone thinks you’re dead, because nobody has heard from you for days'. I thought this is where it has taken me to because my phone is off for days and people think I’m actually dead. The next thing I thought; I will be dead. That's when I went to AA. That was the beginning of my journey to recovery".
For Abbey it was about being honest, he said: "When I got out of prison 15 years ago, people used to say 'you have a drink problem and need to cut down'. I used to say I haven’t and I can stop, and my excuse was I don't have a drink in the morning so I’m not an alcoholic. When he went to the AA about 10 years ago he said: "Half way into the meeting someone mentioned the morning drink and I assumed if you don't have a morning drink you're not an alcoholic. I was wrong because I carried on for another five years and in that period I lost everything in my life.
"At first I was not going in (the AA) to get help for myself. I was trying to do it for other people to keep them happy, just to get them all off my back, my girlfriend at the time, friends, my mum and family, so I struggled. It was not working and was getting worse and worse. I say to clients now at the Brink it was the honesty that set me free."
Abbey feels he can't look back at the past as he will never get that back and can never go back and change it. He said: "What I can do is learn from it and in the last five years I have learned and I’ve grown. "I wouldn't use the cliché born again, but I’ve had the opportunity to live two lives in one lifetime. I lived one life and now I have the opportunity to live another. Thinking about it I used drink, drugs, alcohol, gambling as a coping mechanism. To cope, but not with life, but myself and my feelings. Now I can. I have the tools to sit with myself and deal with feelings that I’m unhappy with. Now I can sit and deal with them".
He added: "The difference in SHARP and going to AA meetings is you get to work on yourself and get to see what you need to do to beat addiction and get answers I could not get in an AA meeting. However, it's AA meetings and the talking that allows you to be honest with yourself to move to intense rehab and get the answers you need. It is AA meetings that keep me sober to this day.
"SHARP is intense group therapy and you have a counsellor. Believe it or not, even though it's rehab for alcohol, drugs and gambling there is not much talk about all of that, it's all about what’s going on in your head, your story". Now Abbey loves his job and is forever grateful to the Brink and SHARP for the opportunities he has now to help people suffering from addiction. He is amazed he can go into prisons, especially Walton where he served his sentence, and help and support people with addictions, show them what's on offer if they want a better life.
He said: "Not many people enjoy waking up on a Monday morning and going to work, but I do. I get so much from it. "It feeds my spirit and it helps my recovery. It's a win-win situation for me as I watch people get well and I get a lot from seeing people getting well which feeds my spirit and makes me a better person as well. If alcohol and drugs is costing you more than money and when I say that I mean by costing you relationships, your job, your health. If everything around you is falling apart that's what I mean by more than money."
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