'Striking firefighters and ambulance workers get blamed for mess Tories caused'

04 February 2023 , 17:23

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The Tories are intent on passing the blame onto public servants (Image: PA)

All these people on strike must accept that, because the economy has gone haywire, those who caused the problem have to cut back a bit.

For example, a few weeks ago the pound crashed after a crazy budget so we had to find 50 billion quid to save it. Who caused that?

Firefighters, that’s who. They made it collapse by spending all the country’s money on solid gold ladders and insisting they could only hose down burning buildings with Prosecco. Then postal workers insisted all their sacks were made by Gucci.

Liz Truss begged them to stop, but they wouldn’t listen so it’s only fair they should take a pay cut.

Before that we lost £20billion on a test and trace system that didn’t work, and it’s obvious who was to blame for that – ambulance drivers.

Teachers, civil servants and train drivers walk out in biggest strike in decade

The system was in a lovely package in pretty wrapping paper with bunny rabbits on it.

But ambulance drivers mistook it for a man who’d had a heart attack. So they shoved it in the ambulance and the paramedics gave it CPR, pressing it so hard they snapped all the wiring.

The dream team of Kwasi Kwarteng and Liz Truss last year (Daily Mirror/Andy Stenning)

So it’s only right they should have their pay cut so they can no longer enjoy luxuries such as somewhere to live.

Tory peer Michelle Mone received £29million from the Government, after lobbying for a contract for her husband’s company which then made a pile of useless equipment. It was train drivers who made her do that.

She asked the driver of the 7.53 from Manchester to Leeds if he’d divert the train to the Cayman Islands, so she could visit some of her hedge funds. But he stubbornly refused so she had to buy a personal yacht and that’s why she needed the extra cash.

Teachers are the greediest of all. Instead of demanding more money, they should learn to live within their means, like the man who ran the country until recently. Then instead of wearing out their schools’ classrooms, they would spend two-thirds of their time on holiday, saving the country money.

And we could fund education in a way that’s far more reliable than the current method. Instead of relying on taxes, we find a teacher who knows a lord or the head of the BBC so they can ask them to loan out a couple of pens and a roll of toilet paper.

This Government has tried so hard to contribute to the economy. Nadhim Zahawi went as far as having to pay a £1million penalty when he got caught not paying his tax. If everyone else was as selfless as this, and fiddled their finances that much they had to pay all that back, the economy would be back on its feet in a fortnight. Instead of going on strike, the nurses could all get fiddling so they have to pay a fine like Nadhim.

But that’s the trouble, it’s just ‘me me me’ with some people, isn’t it?

Mark Steel