Dame Esther Rantzen's heartbreaking Christmas in her daughter's own words

27 December 2023 , 19:36

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Dame Esther Rantzen's heartbreaking Christmas in her daughter's own words

This Christmas was to be like no other for my family. It’s not often that you know beforehand it will be the last time you will dish out turkey and pull crackers at the table with your mother, but that’s what this year has been for us.

You see, my mother, broadcaster and campaigner Esther Rantzen, has stage four cancer. She thought she would be dead in spring, but a miraculous drug has meant that we have another Christmas with her, a wonder we couldn’t have imagined possible when she was diagnosed in January. I was determined to make the most of it.

Rebecca Wilcox shared how she spent her last Christmas with her mum Esther Rantzen who was diagnosed with cancer in January (Getty Images Europe)

I ordered two turkeys, I didn’t want to risk the green turkey disasters some families faced on Christmas morning. Decorations went up in November and were added to and finessed right up until Mum and my sister, Miriam, arrived just before Christmas. Their room was festooned with holly and glitter, a large box of goodies was placed on their table, filled with everything they might need or want during their stay.

Esther Rantzen spent Christmas with her children and grandchildren this year

Their elderly rescue cat, who my family is horribly allergic to, was to stay in his room but was not left out of the merriment. He was gifted treats including a fabulous scratching post that looked like an enormous palm tree. Everyone’s presents were all ready under the tree, carefully chosen yet ineptly wrapped. I have never had the skill of gift wrapping, the ribbon and tape stick to me. The paper rips and everything bulges in an unsightly manner, much like my post-Christmas dinner waistline.

Mum and Miriam arrived in good humour, though thoroughly exhausted by the journey. I put the kettle on – tea is the healer of all problems in my house – and unloaded their car which was filled with cakes, presents and mince pies. Clearly, they had the same thoughts as me on how this Christmas should be.

Dame Esther Rantzen says she has lung cancer which 'has spread'

Then we slumped down to watch something faintly seasonal on the telly before I got up again to hang up my children’s stockings, and put out the carrot, whiskey and cookie for Santa before turning in for an early night. But I couldn’t relax. I was too aware every moment was a precious treasure. I felt I needed to hold on to each minute so tightly I was probably exhausting to be around.

Rebecca had her whole family over for Christmas day

I found myself stressing about the unstoppable trickle away of our time together. Every second, I felt I should be sitting beside mum, soaking it all in. I became her shadow, not wanting to miss a moment of our last Christmas. It was only the madness and chaos that comes with hosting Christmas, and helping my husband with the magnificent meals, that pulled me away from her – a fact she was probably grateful for.

In hindsight, I was also thankful for the distraction and normalcy the Christmas day chores supplied. The confusion over when the bins would be collected, the debate on how long the turkey should be left at room temperature before cooking, then how long it should be cooked for. The correct way to cook sprouts and parsnips was a tedious refrain that helped me feel normal.

So, I stopped trying to hold back time, stopped trying to savour every second and instead sat back a bit. As I relaxed, I found contentment, I was able to see how wonderful it was, a memory in the making, and one I should enjoy, not try to control.

The day was filled with games and happy moments. My boys, Benjamin, 11, Alexander, 8, adore my mother, who is a naughty (though charmingly so) influence. They sat either side of her for hours as she painstakingly taught them solitaire and mystified them (and herself) when she won it

Alexander took equal pains to teach Mum sudoku, which she was adamant was impossible before his instructions yielded a completed board. My brother Joshua’s twin girls (Romilly and Florence, six) per-formed animal charades. Mum led everyone in a game of drawing consequences followed by a rousing rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas. Later, Mum and I did karaoke on the boys’ games console.

It was a day filled with so much love that our memories will last. Hopefully until next year, when I would like to tell you we’ve had another Christmas miracle and Mum is coming to celebrate with us. She has a habit of making the impossible possible, so watch this space.

Rebecca Wilcox