'My parents are leaving their money to charity even though I'm poor'
A couple has decided to leave their wealth to charity even though their children are struggling financially, with one of the siblings reaching out for support from social media users on what to do.
A woman posting to Reddit explained that her folks, who are in their seventies, have "millions" but they have told her and her 41-year-old brother that they won't inherit anything. She said that they have a good relationship with their parents, but that she also has had to have therapy for some issues with her mother and that her father has "a history of severe rage issues" that left her on edge.
The heartbroken daughter also said that she's happy that her parents are comfortable financially, as she won't have to worry about helping them in old age, especially as her dad has a history of dementia in his family and may need to be in a home or require at-home nursing care one day.
The 35-year-old said: "Over the rest of their lives they plan on hoarding their wealth and not spending it on themselves. I've previously told them I hope they spend their money while they are alive. They do not plan on this apparently. They plan on continuing to live well below their means and having millions left over when they pass.
"I know I'm not entitled to their money. It's not mine. If they had nothing to give me I'd be okay with having nothing. Recently however they keep bringing up their net worth to me which I've been confused as to why. I feel like I was never good enough."
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She said that she felt as though her parents had indicated through actions, little digs and saying outright "your father and I are really disappointed in you", that she and her brother are failures as neither of them has partners or children and their mother is disappointed at not having grandchildren.
She added that she felt as though this was a way of her parents having a final dig at her and that she now didn't know how to handle the emotions that she was feeling. She said: "I don't know how to navigate my feelings about this and would love some outside perspective. On the one hand, I feel like they are sending me a hurtful message. On the other hand, I don't want to feel disappointed or hurt because it's not my money and I know they don't owe me anything."
And other users of the site were quick to give her some support, with one saying: "It sounds like they're going for some kind of reaction. You can just keep responding with something like, 'I'm glad you're are in good financial shape. Given dad's family history of dementia, he may need to be in a home or require at home nursing care one day'. Probably not what they want to be thinking about, but if their attempt at needling you results in you reminding them of their impending frailty, they might shut up about it. Just remember, you're good enough. And you deserved kinder parents."
And another poster reminded her that she could now feel free from their criticism with a clean conscience, adding: "They've had their final say in their opinion of your financial worth to them and now you can work on realising how much you mean to yourself and to the people who love you. Like, does your brother love you? Do you have friends? Or people you interact with regularly who admire some skill of yours? Are you pleasant to customer service people? (and, trust me, that puts more good into the world than anything your parents have done, besides birthing you)."
A third said: "Now is the time you can start your life. No more waiting on them to love you unconditionally, or to see your worth. You can start fresh. Want to learn how to work with wood? Fly a plane? Take exploration trips around your town? You are free to do it! No more worrying about their approval or tut-tutting."
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