What to do if your kids hate their Xmas presents, according to a psychologist
Emotions run high when children open gifts - there's sometimes tears of joy, squeals and even some happy screaming. But as much as a great present can be overwhelming, a not-so-great gift can be quite devastating, especially for young children.
While adults may have mastered the art of smiling through awful presents and how to politely say thank you, children haven't yet learnt this social skill - or how to emotionally regulate themselves in these situations. Amanda Abel, a paediatric psychologist and mum, has shared her her top tips on navigating these akwward moments which are essential to a child's development and learning.
Even while sharing her expertise, Amanda stresses that kids "aren't robots," and even if they react differently in the moment it's important to be flexible and understanding of their emotions. Speaking to Kidspot, Amanda encouraged parents to manage expectations and potential anxiety. She also advised parents on how to encourage children to behave politely without guilt-tripping them.
Get to know why your child is behaving the way they are
While it may be normal for an adult to say "thank you" after receiving a gift, this is something that has been taught and learnt. For children, their first reaction to receiving a gift may not be thank you and that's perfectly normal according to Amanda.
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It can be even more difficult for children to be grateful for the present they receive if it isn't something they want in the first place.
Practice getting gifts
Amanda says you can role-play gift-receiving, she adds that both gift-giving and receiving should be praticed. In the role play, you should create a scenario where your child receives a gift they love and a gift they won't be excited about.
She says "modelling gratitude," and how to receive gifts can be an important lesson for children to understand and see.
Slow down
If your child is not in the mood to open presents it's okay to wait until later and film them opening the presents and send the video to the gift giver. Amanda recommends matching the pace of your child and not rushing or pressuring them.
Try positive reinforcement
Forcing your child into being polite or grateful will lead to guilt-tripping. Amanda says phrases like, "You're making grandma sad by not saying thank you" should be avoided. Instead, she encourages parents to focus on positive reinforcement.
She says, that in quieter moments away from the pressure of giving and receiving gifts, you should prepare your child and show them how to say thank you and express gratitude in this situation.
Manage expectations
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Amanda says that children aren't robots and not every interaction will be perfect and that.s okay - she believes that "flexibility is key." She adds that celebrating the almost perfect reactions will make the imperfect ones bearable.
Lingering anxiety
If your child feels anxious about the mystery of what is behind the wrapping paper, you can help them by not wrapping the presents and also making sure the present is ready to go - with batteries included - for them to use when they do open it, says Amanda.
Gift giving with young children can create various reactions and this can differentiate depending on their developmental stage. Amanda says preparing them through role play and respecting their reactions can help bring ease to the environment. She says the most important thing is to foster an environment of empathy, patience and understanding to make the situation joyful.
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