Woman who lost husband in Covid pandemic prepares for 'painful Christmas'
A group of women who tragically lost their loved ones to Covid have shared their tireless mission to ensure they never fade, by devoting every week to maintaining a memorial, which has become a national marker for victims.
Lorelei King, Fran Hall and Kathryn Butcher are just a few of the volunteers who have been re-painting hearts on the Covid Memorial Wall opposite the Houses of Parliament since it first began in the summer of 2021.
And, although the hearts were placed as a "reminder to the government for their failings," it is also seen as a tribute and "therapy session" for the dedicated volunteers. On December 22, the trio and a wider group of volunteers carried candles to the wall, which Fran described as looking after the "graves" of people.
Kathryn and Fran visit the memorial every Friday ( Phil Coburn )The candles shined light on more than 200,000 red hearts which have been delicately painted on display. This was the last time that the team will go down to re-paint the wall until next year, as they try and prepare for Christmas.
However, this December has proved particulary "difficult" for some of them as they try to battle new "complex feelings" which have been triggered by the Covid Inquiry. From new members to the family, to putting on a brave face for nativity plays. The ladies have shared how they will try to cope this Christmas.
Teachers, civil servants and train drivers walk out in biggest strike in decade
Lorelei says she misses going to midnight Mass with her late husband Vince (Ian Vogler / Daily Mirror)'It feels like time has stood still'
Lorelei King, an American actor who's appeared on Emmerdale, lost her husband Vince at the age of 72 on March 31, 2020. Describing what the festive period is like for her, she said: "Christmas is both poignant and painful for me. Poignant, remembering happy Christmases past when we were together, and painful because he is no longer here with me to celebrate. I miss going to midnight Mass with him, I miss sharing a special meal, and I miss fighting over the TV remote.
"For the past few years, I have spent Christmas quietly and alone, finding the festivities too hard to handle." This year, she is spending it in New York with her close friends in the hopes it will help her "recharge after a tough year."
She added: "It will be four years in March – and in many ways, it feels like time has stood still. In many ways, it feels like he’s still here. I’m not sure that I’ve really ‘adjusted’ to life without him; I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I feel his loss immensely. Volunteering at the Covid Memorial Wall and engaging with the UK Covid inquiry have helped – it gives my life shape and purpose."
Lorelei said the festive period is lonley without Vince (Supplied)She continues to visit the wall every week and says the "maintenance of this monument is a priority." Lorelei previously mentioned how the group had become a "sisterhood", and she noted that although they aren't "traditional friendships" she trusts them with her life. "The relationship I have with the regular volunteers at the memorial wall is very special – but it is a relationship borne out of pain and shared loss and built around a shared goal. In that way, these are not what I would call traditional friendships - but I do know that I would trust every one of those women with my life."
Highlighting the importance of the inquiry, she said: "Seeing evidence of all the mistakes that were made, realising that maybe our loved ones didn’t have to die, that so many people didn’t have to get sick, is tough. As is seen in the attitude of those in power at the time: that the old and vulnerable didn’t really matter, that they’d had good innings, that they should be willing to die to save the economy. Shocking and inhuman.
"Though the inquiry is tough, this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to learn lessons so that we are better prepared when something like this happens again, in order to try to prevent the horrific suffering we all went through."
'My sister in law won't meet her first grandchild'
Kathryn feels strongly about ensuring the wall becomes permanent ( Phil Coburn )Kathryn Butcher, 59, from London, lost her sister-in-law Myrna, who was aged 56, early on in the pandemic on March 29, 2020. She said her family's life has "immensely changed" and said this year, would have been Myrna's first Christmas as a grandparent. "It's particularly hard for us because my sister-in-law, her daughter, my niece has just had a baby," she explained. "So there's things like that, that really sort of bring it to the forefront. It just seems so unfair that she's not around to see her first grandchild."
She added that her brother will spend Christmas with her nephew in Dubai because he "doesn't want to be home" at Christmas. Kathryn was booted out of parliament earlier this month alongside Kirsten Hackman, Michelle Rumball and Fran for standing up during the inquiry, into Boris Johnson, with cards which read: 'The Dead can't hear you apologise.'
Richard 'shuts up' GMB guest who says Hancock 'deserved' being called 'd***head'
"It has been hard to listen to the evidence of the inquiry," she said. "I'm almost glad I got thrown out because I don't think I could have sat in there and listened to it. It was hard enough listening to Matt Hancock."
Myrna sadly passed away before she got to meet her first grandchild (Supplied)In September, the UK Commission on Covid Commemoration suggested a national day of reflection each year, as well as creating multiple new Covid memorials across the UK, alongside the National Covid Memorial Wall. "We've more or less repainted the whole thing. So it's just about maintaining it now," Kathryn said.
"It was the commission which made a recommendation to the government about the wall being made a permanent memorial. But somewhere it is sitting on the end of Rishi Sunak's desk because he is too busy sending refugees to Rwanda."
'There was no colour to life'
Fran says she has formed a special friendship with the other women ( Phil Coburn ) (Info)Fran Hall, from Buckinghamshire, sadly lost her husband Steve just three weeks after they tied the knot. She has happily welcomed the report and hopes that at some point an organisation or trust can be set up to ensure the wall is maintained.
Speaking about how she has had to "recreate" her life since the passing of her husband, who was 65 at the time of his death. She said: "When he died, our future just went. It was a later life relationship so we just wanted to spend our time together."
Fran, who is a trained funeral director, said: "I've had to recreate my life on my own. It's really hard. And I went through a long period of finding that there was no colour to life. Steve died in October and then we went into the second lockdown and then into the third. So I had a very, very isolated period of intense and very difficult grief. And then the wall was created and that was just at the right time. Suddenly I had something to hold onto."
Fran was married to Steve for less than a month when he died (Supplied)She added: "I was just immensely grateful for it because it meant so much and then to be part of the group of women who kept it there and have stopped it from fading is probably one of the things I'm most proud of in my life." She acknowledged the "amazing" volunteers and said: "I've met these amazing women who have become my dearest friends. We don't need to explain ourselves to each other and we have gradually become a really tight group of friends. That has been a joy."
Speaking about the Covid inquiry, she said: "There's a lot of anger that needs to be processed and going to the wall is a therapy session for all of us." The 62-year-old highlighted how the inquiry has been restrictive. "Our legal team are given a restricted number of minutes in order to question witnesses. With Rishi Sunak, our team pre-submitted 63 questions to the chair and they were allowed to ask one of them. It feels like there's a lot of soft pedalling by the case by the KC for the inquiry."
Fran has continued to mantain the wall since her husband's passing ( Phil Coburn ) (Info)She added: "The inquiry has taken up an awful amount of energy. It's been really draining, just having a presence there. Christmas is looming around the corner and I need to catch up with work and shopping. I'll do it for the kids. If it wasn't for my grandchildren, then I would probably not bother."
Fran explained how Steve worked for the Met Police and said it is important to "honour" his memory. "For 30 years, Steve was a bobby on the beat in Acton and then he trained many of the police drivers, including the protection team, for royalty and for politicians. He has a big legacy in London in the Met. So It feels appropriate to do something that's really London connected."
Read more similar news:
Comments:
comments powered by Disqus
