Gethin Jones opens up about depression, therapy and Katherine Jenkins break-up
Looking out from the summit of New Zealand’s Mount Cook, Gethin Jones should have been awe-struck by the sheer beauty on display.
Instead he was utterly numb inside. “I was at the top of this mountain and just feeling really sad and low, and people were like: ‘What’s the matter with you...you are doing this?’” he says. “I was like, ‘I know.’”
Filming in a far-flung destination and soon to be engaged to his singer girlfriend Katherine Jenkins, life from the outside looked perfect. But as is often the harsh reality with men’s mental health, appearances can be deceptive. “I didn’t know why I was in a rut and I just couldn’t work it out,” he says.
Gethin has never spoken about what he calls his “bad bout of depression” before, nor indeed the circumstances around the break-down of his high-profile relationship to Katherine. They were engaged to be married in 2011 after meeting on Strictly six years previously, where she was singing and he was a contestant.
But speaking to the Mirror’s Outdoors in Mind podcast, he finally feels empowered to shed some light on that period in the hope it can encourage other people suffering to seek help. “I was engaged and then breaking up, afterwards, or even during that period, it was just awful,” he says. “I remember doing BBC Radio 5Live and going into the toilet at 5.30am going, ‘All right. Come on. Just focus for the next three hours, and then you can go back to being sad again.’ I definitely had a bad bout of depression during that time.”
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A consummate professional, as soon as the cameras started rolling or the mics switched on, he was able to pretend he was fine. But off-screen he was struggling and even talking to his friends didn’t help.
Jones and Jenkins at Ascot in 2011 (Getty Images)“I was waiting for a friend to tell me what to do and they can’t do that. It puts so much pressure on them...you need to figure it out yourself,” he says.
The subsequent split in the glare of the public eye sounded equally tough. Both put out simultaneous statements on Twitter saying they were heartbroken. Just months later, Katherine went on tour and told on stage how she was a “total mess” and “in pieces”. She later claimed it was his decision.
To his credit, Gethin doesn’t go into the specifics of what happened, only that it played out against a backdrop of depression. But you get the impression it wasn’t as black and white as the public were led to believe.
“It was horrible...a lot of what I read about myself wasn’t right,” he simply says. In fact, he takes pride that he kept his counsel and never discussed the break-up, nor indeed his own personal struggles at the time.
“There was something inside of me at the time, that said the only things that matter really now are dignity and integrity, which no one gives you credit for...it’s the hardest thing to do at the time and probably what I’m most proud of now. I’ve never talked about it.”
The couple in 2010 (REX/Shutterstock)
'It was awful' says Jones (Alan Davidson/REX/Shutterstock)In the end, he undertook counselling to try and navigate a way through how he was feeling. “I saw someone, I had therapy for a couple of years and I still do my homework on that,” he says. Despite coming from a close family, it was something he can’t remember telling his parents about.
“My mum and dad are probably quite old school and I don’t even think they knew I had therapy,” he says. “That older generation just think, ‘What do you mean mental health?’ But this sort of anxiety or depression is something the older generation struggle with, don’t they? They have a ‘come on, crack on,’ mentality. And I was probably like that for a long time, but it broke me...well, almost broke me.”
He says having a nephew Alby, who has autism, has helped both him and his parents appreciate that others can see the world in different ways. “We’ve had to learn that Alby is watching the washing machine because that’s his world and you get in his world or get out. You don’t have a choice,” he says.
With the Mirror's Tom Bryant (Julian Hamilton/Daily Mirror)The therapy helped Gethin learn not to beat himself up too much. “I was really hard on myself as well and I think I’ve got better at that,” he says. “I’m not perfect. “I’ve got lots of imperfections….and that’s okay, but I’ve got some principles and being courteous, and commitment and honesty are really important to me as well.”
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As likeable off-screen as he is on, it’s genuinely moving to hear Gethin talk about his past struggles, but it’s also vitally important. Mind’s research shows one in five people have spoken to a loved one about their own mental health as a result of hearing a celebrity speak out about theirs.
And he says he was inspired to speak up about mental health after signing up for Mind’s Hats on for Mind campaign, in conjunction with GO Outdoors, along with stars including Helen Skelton and Sean Fletcher. “When we all did the photo shoot...I told Sean about stuff going on in my life, and I don’t know Sean that well,” he says.
Gethin was speaking to the Mirror's Outdoors in Mind podcastAnd it’s little wonder his own experiences have helped shape his ethos, when it comes to fostering a safe space and culture on the set of the Morning Live. “Ratings are one thing, but hearing people going, “I had a good experience today,” or a message to say, “Thanks for today,” or, “You have my back there,” that means more to me than any of it.”
But he knows that mental health is a complex beast and sometimes things aren’t always an easy fix, or even obvious. He recalls a close, cameraman friend who ended their life out of the blue, which he says had a “profound effect” on him. “I was like, ‘what?’He looked like George Clooney. He was the nicest guy in the world. He was a cool guy, he had a cool job, he had a beautiful son. I don’t get it,” he says.
The damaging impact of social media on mental health is a subject matter regularly explored in the podcast.
And Gethin says he has never been affected until recently, when he was wrongly named online in the guessing game over who the anonymous BBC presenter was who’d been suspended over allegations of inappropriate behaviour.
“It was the weekend of Dr. Xand’s wedding and I was in Verona for his wedding, and I was off on a Monday,” he says. “That Sunday night I saw four separate messages,” he says. Mindful that he was off work on Monday and this could be misinterpreted, frantic messages ensued between him and his agent as to how to respond, “I just posted something that night saying, “I had a brilliant weekend. I’m off tomorrow. Rare treat. See you on Tuesday,” he says.
On BBC Morning Live (BBC)But the incident understandably affected him. “You think, “Well, what do I do? Do I go after them? Do I sue them? Or do I just move on?” But that was a tough one to read,” he says.
As our conversation draws to a close, he surprises me when I ask him what’s next. “I’ve always wanted to adopt. I always wanted to have kids, but adopt too,” he says.
“A gay friend of mine in LA was doing it when I was out there and I was like, ‘Wow.’ I learned a lot watching him go through it. But obviously, you’ve got to be ready, it’s a huge commitment. But I think because I do a lot of work with children’s charities, and you see these heartbreaking stories, I just think I’d just love to be able to save a child in that sense.”
For someone who’s been so refreshingly honest, perhaps his answer shouldn’t have been such a surprise after all.
Gethin is an ambassador for #HatsOnForMind, having designed his own hat and flask, available to purchase online and in-store at partner retailers including GO Outdoors, Blacks, Millets, Naylors and Fishing Republic. 100% of the profits will go to Mind.
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