'Money is so tight, I'm feeling the pressure and worrying about Christmas'

12 December 2023 , 18:03

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Mum is stressing over Christmas presents (Image: Getty Images)

Dear Coleen

My husband and I have two children and this year, like many other people, we’re having to scale down Christmas because we simply can’t afford to splash out.

We’ve warned our kids that Santa is on a budget this year because there are a lot of kids much worse off than they are and they’ve been surprisingly OK with it.

I know the four of us will have a nice time anyway, but I’m worried about seeing family on Christmas Day because I know my parents will buy lots of gifts (even if I tell them not to) and we’ll be seeing my sister and her family, who aren’t struggling financially and their kids will probably show up with new phones and tablets.

To be honest, I don’t want to get into our situation with my family, especially at Christmas, and I feel quite embarrassed. I’m just very mindful that my kids will see their cousins with expensive gifts that we can’t afford to buy them. I’ve never not looked forward to Christmas before, but this year it feels like a huge pressure and I can’t wait until we’re on the other side of it. I’d appreciate any advice.

Coleen says

There is so much pressure, especially if you have children, but your kids have displayed great maturity, which shows you’ve brought them up with the right values. When I was growing up, my parents had very little money, but Christmas was always special because we made it so and it sounds like you’ll do the same for your kids.

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This year, my family have agreed to buy token gifts, so no one feels under pressure and, really, what’s important is spending time together, cooking, watching movies and enjoying each other’s company.

If your parents want to spoil the children, then I think that’s OK (that’s what grandparents are for and it’ll take some stress off you). But also, I think you should be open with your family and you don’t have to go into detail. Explain you’re not splashing out this year because you have other commitments, and that the kids are on board. I’m absolutely certain they’ll understand and have empathy with your situation.

As for your sister, why not ask her if the kids can leave their presents at home when they visit your parents and your kids will do the same. I don’t think that’s a lot to ask and the whole point of the visit is to enjoy spending time together and be present, and not buried in new phones and iPads.

I’m sure, in the spirit of Christmas, she’ll understand and won’t want to make things awkward for you.

Coleen Nolan