'People call me terrible mum for telling kids truth about Santa - I don't care'
Telling children the truth about Santa is personal to every parent, with some choosing to keep the festive magic alive for as long as possible, and a few wanting to be upfront and honest with their kids.
One mum has been trolled online for telling her children Father Christmas isn't real, and she's even been branded as a "grinch, liar, and terrible mother." Tenae Adamcic, 28, decided to tell her three-year-old son, Dejan, the truth after a trip to see the man himself left him in tears. She also has a daughter Freja, and when she took to Instagram to share that she'd told them the truth she was branded a "narcissist", and an "awful parent."
The mum said that the "narrative behind Santa" didn't fit with her "parenting style", sharing that: "My son has been scared of Santa from the moment we took him for his first Santa photos at 10 months old. Now nearly four years old, he still feels the exact same way.
"[After uploading the post], I was receiving hundreds of comments in a couple [of] hours, calling me a liar, grinch, a terrible mother, with some saying my children hate me, bringing politics, religion, race, and much more into the conversation.
"I decided to turn the comments off because it defeated the purpose of sharing the content. Me choosing to parent differently to you is not a personal attack, it is a personal choice made with my children in mind, not to offend you."
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She was branded a 'narcissist' for telling her kids the truth (Jam Press/Tenae Adamcic)The post shared the reasons she wanted to tell her children the truth about Santa, and she wrote over the clip of the Christmas tree: "10 reasons I am telling my kids the truth about Santa. 1) My son already assumed that he wasn't real. 2) The driving force behind 'being good' is based on a materialistic reward. 3) Having an open and honest relationship goes both ways. 4) The idea that he is being watched at all times, even in his sleep, is unsettling. 5) 'You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout...' teaches children they should suppress their emotions.
The mum said her son didn't really like Santa - so she told him the truth (Jam Press/Tenae Adamcic)"6) It may make love feel conditional. 7) It creates anxiety in children around the holiday time. 8) It gives the credit of the hard work to an imaginary person. 9) It causes upset among children who compare Santa gifts. 10) Christmas is still magical."
After Dejan had sleep issues to do with monsters under his bed, Tenae and Ognjen felt it vital to teach their son about the difference between reality and fantasy. The parents tell their kids Santa is just a fictional character and say they will discuss religious beliefs and traditions that include "commercial holidays but aren't just centred around" them.
She said Christmas can still be magical, and they still participate in festive traditions (Jam Press/Tenae Adamcic)The mum said: "I was caught off guard when Dejan first said 'Santa is just pretend' but these words are so important to us because we have been teaching him the difference between real and pretend to help him tackle his fear of monsters. We have worked hard over the better part of this year helping him feel safe in his own room. Dejan knows the presents come from his parents, cousins, aunties and uncles, his grandparents.
"I want my children to come to me, always, I want them to know I am trustworthy always. Some children feel hurt by the little white lie of Santa. To them it's not little, it's world-crushing. Of course, it is dependant on the child you have, they are all so different. Some are more anxious than others and some feel nothing but excitement and joy when they think about Santa.
The mum everyone's parenting styles are different - and that's fine (Jam Press/Tenae Adamcic)
Her kids still love Christmas (Jam Press/Tenae Adamcic)"It is also important for me that my children aren't motivated by materialistic rewards. If parents aren't mindful of expensive gifts coming from Santa, children may believe they weren't given as good a gift because they simply aren't good enough, rather than the real reasons, being financial differences between families."
Tenae still believes that her family's Christmas is a magical affair, despite the fact she won't pretend that Santa is real, sharing that they do "everything and anything you'd expect" during the festive season. "My son still loves Christmas just as much as the next child and there will never be any magic lacking in our home", she assured people.
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