'Harry still doesn't accept responsibility for his actions - he hasn't grown up'

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Prince Harry and Prince William after viewing floral tributes left for Queen Elizabeth II outside Windsor Castle (Image: Martin Meissner/AP/REX/Shutterstock)
Prince Harry and Prince William after viewing floral tributes left for Queen Elizabeth II outside Windsor Castle (Image: Martin Meissner/AP/REX/Shutterstock)

Prince Harry ’s lack of obvious emotion after his mother died made him feel guilty. Guilty that it was their mother who had died and yet neither he or William, whom Diana loved more than anything, could express their grief.

Psychotherapist Professor Brett Kahr says sudden bereavement produces predictable responses. “The first is shock or numbness, a denial of reality where you become internally frozen.”

This strange lack of sentiment made Harry and William feel embarrassed because of their inability to produce an appropriate reaction themselves.

Kahr describes the next emotion associated with grief as “anger directed at their mother for allowing this to happen and against the paparazzi held responsible for the crash”. The third “is the grief-stricken sobbing which may not come for years later”.

'Harry still doesn't accept responsibility for his actions - he hasn't grown up' eideeidediqxzinvHarry meeting mourners following the death of Diana (PA)

According to Harry, this is exactly what happened to him. And 26 years later, he is still at war with the press and has never forgiven them for being a contributary factor in his mother’s death.

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After Diana’s funeral, Charles took Harry back to Ludgrove School. His fellow classmates were told not to talk about it and they said if Diana’s face came on the television, Harry would leave the room.

'Harry still doesn't accept responsibility for his actions - he hasn't grown up'Diana with Harry and William at Thorpe Park (UK Press via Getty Images)

In a way, he is still leaving that room. By refusing to accept any responsibility for his own actions and laying the blame for whatever goes wrong in his life at the feet of others, he hasn’t grown up.

If he had, he would realise being “the spare” brings all the privileges without the responsibility that the brother he calls his “arch-nemesis” must contend with for life.

If Harry had chosen to use that privilege to his advantage rather than feel forever the second-best, he might find the happiness that so far appears to have eluded him.

Ingrid Seward

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