'I’ve been accused of ‘upstaging’ bride at her wedding'
There's a golden, unspoken rule at weddings - don't upstage the bride and groom. It doesn't matter what your faith, religion, or age is - as a guest, you should know better. This can be shown in any number of ways, for example; making sure to wear something that won't detract from the bride, perhaps not using the dance floor to propose, or getting blind drunk and starting a fight with the DJ. They're all very valid.
However, one woman has found herself in the middle of a family feud after she unintentionally upstaged the bride, who also happened to be her grandmother. Confused by the situation, she shared her story on social media for some feedback on if she was in the wrong.
The 28-year-old revealed that this was her grandmother's fifth wedding and she had been determined not to do anything that could upset her after she accidentally upstaged her at her fourth nuptials. Giving some background, she shared: "The last time she got married, I was a junior in high school and wore a cranberry strapless dress that my grandma purchased for me, very much in line with the cocktail dress code.
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"I didn't try to do this, but in hindsight, I wore makeup that was too much for a wedding... One of the granddaughters of the husband she was marrying then pulled me aside and told me I did too much, and that I should wipe the makeup off before photos.
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"I was extremely embarrassed; the only other wedding I had ever been to was when I was six, so at the time I had no idea of the etiquette and was mortified that I had broken it. I ended up wiping off the eyeliner, replacing the eyeshadow with a nude eyeshadow, and putting on a clear chapstick."
Anxious not to make the same mistake again, the woman revealed that she had this time gone for a very low-key look. She wrote: "For this wedding, my grandma reminded me that I should do a very toned down look and not upstage her at this wedding.
"These days, I don't wear nearly as much makeup as I used to, so I went with my daily makeup routine, BB cream and a light concealer, a nude cream blush, some light mascara, dark brown instead of black, and a sheer/glossy pinky-nude lipstick. I paired this with a navy blue dress that I tried my best to match my grandma's request that the dress code be "in between casual and cocktail."
The woman added that her grandmother hadn't said anything to her about what she was wearing, nor did anyone else so she thought everything was fine. She continued: "However, today she got some of the photos back from her friend who was taking them.
"She said that I was the standout in all of the photos and it was a very tacky move to try to get all of the attention on me when it was her wedding. I apologized and said I tried to be as toned down as possible while still looking presentable, she said the right move would have been to wear no makeup at all and wear a more conservative pantsuit."
Devastated, the woman decided to speak to her grandmother on her dad's side for some feedback who told her she had done nothing wrong but she still felt bad. She finished: "I didn't mean to wreck a special day for her, and in hindsight, maybe I should have approved my dress and makeup with her before the wedding. "
However, after reading her post on Reddit people were stunned and rushed to comfort her. One person wrote: "You're not the a**hole for either of her weddings. You do not owe her an apology. You did nothing wrong. She is ridiculous. It's not dissimilar to people who tear others down to feel better about themselves. That's essentially what she wants to do to her 'friends' ... direct them to be 'lesser' so she feels better about herself. Not on."
And someone else added: "Your grandma is jealous of you. You're 28 years old and in the prime of your life. She's 71. As active as she may feel etc. it doesn't change the fact that a 28-year-old will outshine. You could have looked as frumpy as possible, you'd still look better."
While a third person penned: "A pantsuit. She wants you to wear a pantsuit. It's a wedding for Murphy's sake. The default expectation is that you dress up. Feels like Grandma is just looking for a reason to be cranky. Not the a**hole at all."
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