'I signed up to sugar baby websites behind husband's back - we needed the money'

21 November 2023 , 12:20

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A woman who went on a sugar baby site has been encouraged to tell her husband (Image: Getty Images)

A woman who decided to try to earn money on sugar baby websites ended up being so disgusted with herself she deleted her profiles and decided to instead work on her marriage, but other users of the site encouraged her to come clean with her husband too.

Posting on Reddit's True of my Chest, the woman said their finances had taken a turn for the worse and because of a medical condition, she was unable to help with cash as much as she had done, so started to search around for other ways to earn money.

She was unable to find any extra work and became desperate, so created a couple of profiles on sugar baby websites – which is where a pseudo-romantic transactional relationship between an older wealthy person and a younger person takes place – and talked to a potential client.

The woman, 30, said: "I have been with my husband for about eight years. Within the last year our finances have changed pretty drastically. I had to go on leave for work for medical reasons so I haven’t been able to help as much as before. He makes less than me so I hate talking about money with him because I know it stresses him out a lot.

Sugar baby sites set up relationships between an older wealthy person and a younger person (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

"I was looking into all sorts of side gigs and I can’t find anything in my area/remote work that wouldn’t affect my work benefits. I was up late (too late) and desperate so I made a profile (with edited pictures, no nudity, and private). I said on the profile I’m not looking for any kind of FWB (friends with benefits) or NSA (no strings attached). I read into it a bit before so I knew there were some SDs (sugar daddies) out there who just want the companionship so that’s really what I was hoping for.

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"I had my account two days and I talked to a potential SD online before talking on the phone. Our conversations before the call were pretty PG (parental guidance) with the occasional sexual innuendo. He was nice on the phone nothing concerning. He talked to me about how he was divorced from his wife of 20 years and was looking for someone to meet up and travel with. He talked about missing the warm body and company as he got used to it over the years. We pleasantly ended the conversation – I know he would like to talk again."

However, the poster had second thoughts about what she was doing and said she felt gross for even thinking about doing it. She said she felt as though she had just listened to what could happen to her relationship if her and her husband didn't work on it.

She said: "Right after the call, I deleted everything. I felt gross for even considering it. I will not be telling my husband about any of this and I’m never, ever going back to SD websites. I felt like I was listening to what could happen to me and my husband if we don't work on things together. I have to give my head a good shake after all this. I’m so f****** ashamed and disgusted with myself. Moral of the story for me, being broke and stressed together is better than looking for some person to solve my problems."

And other users warned her that while it was a close call, she should recognise her marriage is on shaky ground and she should be honest about her actions. One said: "You should tell your husband or it’s going to weigh on you and possibly affect your relationship. You should have an open heart conversation about the root of the problem (in this case, money) and explain to each other exactly how you feel. Get him to talk, it’s only for the better and at the end of the day, it’s just money. It might be stressful but keeping it all inside will stress him out even more, once it’s out it can only get better."

While another advised: "Your marriage is on shaky ground and you are making it worse. You say you did this for financial issues which your husband hates to talk about. This is only going to grow. Your financial issues are still existing," and another said: "She pulled herself back. It was gross what she did but she didn’t actually cheat. She needs to come clean, apologise, and kiss a**. But having secrets will hurt them both more in the long run."

Paul Donald