Newcastle's flight to Dortmund sparks reminder of Lady Gaga's gift to Pardew

06 November 2023 , 10:45

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Alan Pardew knew how to make a Newcastle United trip to Europe a fun occasion - and it involved Lady Gaga’s double bed, and a bar-like atmosphere on the club jet!

Pardew gets little credit from many fans for leading Newcastle to fifth place in the 2011-12 season. And the year after that to a Europa league quarter-final exit at the hands of Benfica via games in Athens, Bordeaux, Bruges, Madeira, Moscow and Kharviv. Quite a tour itinerary for the Toon Army.

Pardew knew how to keep us reporters happy, and bring in some extra cash for the club. So we were allocated seats on the club private charter jet for all of these trips. On the way to Kharkiv, the club excelled themselves by hiring a plane that had been specially adapted and used by Lady Gaga for her world tour.

Never mind turning left for first class, and right for second class. We walked on the plane, and there was… a massive private cabin, complete with double bed and mirrors. Cue much chuckling and comments about who had been allocated the luxury quarters for the five hour flight.

It turned out Newcastle’s mile high club was fun even without the duvet. The plane was laid out with tables for four. We played computer games with Chiek Tiote. Watched stars battle it out over Uno and saw the infectious personalities in the squad come to the fore.

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The highlight being Jonas Gutierrez getting bored flying home after a 1-0 win against Metalist Kharvik, and cranking up some Argentine folk music. Jonas blasted out the tunes, banged out the rhythm on the table and sang at the top of his voice. It was 3am, somewhere over Europe, and no one was going to sleep!

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Newcastle's flight to Dortmund sparks reminder of Lady Gaga's gift to Pardew

Alan Pardew's Newcastle side used a plane built for Lady Gaga for one of their European trips (GETTY)

Mike Ashley’s right hand man Derek Llambias once plied us with so much alcohol in Moscow that a few of us, including a Toon official, ended up doing a military march through Red Square at 4am watched by the police, imagining the parades we’d seen in the communist Soviet Union as kids.

But not quite as bad a hangover that day as the colleague who needed treatment from the club doctor the night after enthusiastically sampling the vodka in Kiev. Bravely supping into the night in the interest of contact building, obviously. A colleague back in Newcastle had to cover the game off the TV!

That was also the Euro campaign when I may have inadvertently contributed to an injury in the squad. Playing tennis with my regular partner on the Monday night, a Toon player turned up for a game only to be kicked off his court. We offered a game of doubles, which was accepted, and a competitive evening unfolded.

The pop superstar's plane was full of luxury (AFP via Getty Images)

We both arrived at the airport for the trip on the Wednesday morning and he smiled and gave me a “shhhh” gesture with his finger. No problem. A off the record game of tennis.

I only realised why when Pardew ran through the injury list that XXXXX - for he shall remain nameless - was a big doubt, in fact ruled out, having just developed shin splints! I’m sure the late-night hard court tennis didn’t help.

There are also other awkward moments sharing a jet with the team… the main one being which newspaper would be given out free as you walked on the plane. Especially after a defeat. “Oh s***…” has been heard from many a reporter as players thumbed their merit marks. “I wish I’d not given out those 4/10s”.

The other nightmare, especially with a squad full of spiky, mouthy stars, is the walk up the plane. The players always sat at the front - the press at the back. We’d walk through, having already slightly delayed departure, doing the odd friendly nod, but also getting the odd growl.

Passing Craig Bellamy’s seat was perilous, if there’d been a recent controversy that had to be reported. “Simon Bird… Why are you a journalist….”. “Hi Craig, lovely to see you…”