'I grounded daughter for refusing to share her birthday gifts with step-sister'
A mum has been criticised for making her daughter share her birthday presents with her step-sister. The woman explained that her daughter, Amy, 15, and her stepdaughter, Nora, 13, have birthdays just two days apart, so she decided to throw a joint party.
However, this didn't go down well with Amy, who was made to give up her gifts because Nora didn't get as many. Sharing her story on Reddit, the mum said: "I was a single mother to my daughter, Amy. I came out three years ago and married my wife Jenna 42, last year. She has a daughter, Nora."
"We all live together as I have full custody of my daughter. It was kind of hard for her to adjust to having a second mum, but they got along well. The girls have their birthdays very close, only two days apart, so we decided to have a joint birthday party for both of them since Nora had a hard time making new friends - they moved in with us and she's very shy."
"Most of my family lives out of the country, so the gifts were sent a week early. It was a huge bag, with at least 20 gifts. The party was nice and we opened the bag at night once everyone left." But when her partner, Jenna, started handing out the presents, she realised Amy received 12 gifts in a row while her daughter only got one.
READ MORE: 'Daughter changed her name to copy popular girl at school - it's embarrassing'
Teen 'kept as slave, starved and beaten' sues adoptive parents and authorities
"Nora pretended it wasn't a big deal, but as she opened the present I saw her eyes drop. It was a $15 (£10) tumbler from Walmart," the 40-year-old mum added. "Not to sound ungrateful, but Amy's gifts were much more expensive - lots of gift cards over $100, a new phone, limited-edition Funkos, designer clothes, and lots of cards wishing her a happy birthday."
"Needless to say, I blew up the family chat, calling out my parents, siblings, and extended family who sent gifts for not considering Nora and my parents for the cheap gift. No one took me seriously since: "It's not our duty to give gifts to someone else's kid" and 'Amy deserved them since I didn't even throw her her own birthday party', emphasizing that Jenna and Nora are my problem, not theirs."
"Nora was clearly hurt, since it's not the first time my family has left her out." Later that night, she asked her 15-year-old to share some of her gifts with Nora, wanting to make her feel better. But Amy outright refused.
She explained: "This surprised me, since she never had a problem with sharing and even though she and Nora are not BFF's, they usually get along. After asking why, Amy started crying, saying that she never wanted a joint birthday party, and that I force her to share everything with Nora. They share a room for space and I make sure they're both invited to the same parties and sleepovers so that Nora won't be left out. If they don't invite both of them, then neither of them goes."
"Amy stated that she at least wanted her own gifts to be hers alone. I scolded her for being selfish with her stepsister, grounded her and took a couple of the presents to give to Nora. She turned them down because she didn't want problems with Amy and it felt like pity. Since then, Amy has been cold to all of us. I just wanted my two girls to be closer with the joint party and have the same things."
In search of advice, she turned to Reddit users. One user responded: "You are basically asking your daughter to share her complete identity with Nora. Her room, her stuff, her family, her friends, her birthday party, the parties she goes to, sleepovers is there anything really hers ? This can't be good for her development. She needs to be her own person."
Another person commented: ", I know you are trying your best, but your mistake was to have a joint party in the first place. Amy is a teenager and is developmentally looking to forge her own identity. This means not existing as a package deal with Nora. It's also cruel to take someone's birthday presents away when it's not her fault that your family was not as generous with Nora. It's up to you and your spouse to make sure Nora has a good birthday too."
A third person remarked: "You're trying to force this one big happy family dynamic. You expect your family to jump on board pretty quickly and just accept and treat Nora like your own and they haven't. You don't solve that by stealing your daughter's presents from her family and sharing them with Nora, that's only going to build resentment between them."
"You've found who you are and accepted it and created a new life, good for you. But in the process you've robbed your daughter of her own space, her own celebrations, her own friendships and her own gifts. Then you punish her for not being accepting of it."
Read more similar news:
Comments:
comments powered by Disqus
