'I refuse to lie about Santa - it's harmful and kids deserve the truth'
Many of us will remember the magic of Christmas during childhood; the exciting feeling of knowing Santa was about to come down your chimney, knowing you needed to stay still and wait until morning to find out what he's delivered.
Usually parents yearn to keep that tradition going for as long as possible for their kids, but it can be difficult to know how to broach the subject of Santa's true identity.
However, one couple admit they refuse to lie to their four-year-old daughter about Santa - as they don't want to be "deceptive" towards her.
Ashley, 26, and her husband Keith Nkosana, 31, decided that they would make sure their daughter knew the truth, and they say Christmas is still special, despite her not believing in Santa.
She believes being open and honest will help shape their daughter's values (Biston Media / SWNS)
Even though she knows the truth, she can 'pretend' (Ashley Nkosana / SWNS)Ashley, a part-time administrator from Repton, Derbyshire, said: "We don't lie to our daughter. My daughter will ask 'Mum is Santa real?' and I'll say 'he's not real but we can pretend'." The mum also stated that people think it "takes away the magic of Christmas" and added: "You can be creative and we can pretend he's real. That's still magical – she still enjoys Christmas but people think it's not going to be magical if she knows."
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Ashley and her husband always struggled with the idea of lying to their daughter, as they felt as if they were "deceiving" her - even as a baby. When their daughter turned two, they decided to home-educate and pick their family values - truth, love and fun. This meant not lying about certain things.
These truths included things such as Santa, the tooth fairy, and even leaving her when they were going out. Ashley explained: "I really struggled to leave her when she was younger. People said 'just run away' but I didn't feel ok with that. She'd cry and we'd say we're going and say goodbye instead of sneaking away. We decided to be truthful - why do we have to lie? Our parenting style is on us than the child and we would model the behaviour we want her to have."
Despite her daughter not believing in Santa, Ashley stressed it's still a 'magical' time (Ashley Nkosana / SWNS)
The couple believe there is no reason to lie to their daughter (Biston Media / SWNS)The couple decided to tell her the truth about the magical Christmas character, and claim she can "choose to pretend" if she wanted to, but people "think it takes away the innocence of childhood." Although it has ruffled some feathers, other parents are worried she will tell her friends the truth - but they claim other parents are "delusional".
It was the same when their daughter lost her first tooth, Ashley and Keith decided to not lie about the tooth fairy. Ashley explained: "We will still put money under her pillow and she woke up to confetti. We made it like a milestone without having to lie, there are so many ways you can make something special."
Another important part of parenting for the couple is to make sure they sit down and let their daughter express her views, while also planning meals for the week. They reveal they don't hide away from hard and difficult conversations either, and will openly talk to her about what's going on in the world.
They discuss the ongoing war in Israel, and won't ever hide conversations from her and hope that being open and honest will help "shape" their daughter's values. Ashley said: "I won't hide from an uncomfortable conversation with her. We discussed the war – people are naïve if they don't think kids won't hear it on the radio or in your conversations," and added: "I hope by being honest and having integrity we'll raise her as a good citizen."
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