'I'm trying not to panic but side effects of cancer are becoming clear'

01 November 2023 , 19:24

628     0

Linda Nolan (Image: Andy Stenning/Daily Mirror)

I’m not going to panic because, if I panic, cancer wins.

But I still need to be realistic, and while I can’t fear my every ailment (yes, I do have curly Ken Dodd hair on one side now – I accept it), the reality is, my memory seems to be getting worse. I’ve spoken a few times about the Nolans’ blue plaque (we have a blue plaque now, didn’t you know?). Me and the family unveiled it with such delight.

What I haven’t spoken about is the less fabulous moment of that day. The moment I had to turn to Coleen’s son Jake’s girlfriend and ask her what my niece, Coleen’s daughter, is called. My memory has been lapsing for a while but that moment was as bad as it has got. I could actually have asked Ciara herself – that’s it, CIARA.

She’s funny like her mum, and she’d have responded just like her, too. You can imagine the comments about my age... But I didn’t, because deep down it doesn’t feel right. As I said, I won’t panic. My balance is still better than it was, I’m not having headaches. I have some scans arranged and I’ll wait for them.

I’m not going to live in fear, because it’ll take over, and I have to concentrate on making the most of now. Even more so after learning that Ciara – CIARA – is heading off and travelling in January, plus my nephew Danny, his wife and family, including gorgeous baby Marlie, will also be moving overseas.

Warning as popular food and drink ‘increase risk of cancer death by up to 30%’

News like this is so difficult. You’re over the moon for them and yet, when I say goodbye, I know I might not see them again. That’s the elephant in the room. But I wouldn’t want them to say they’re not going. They have to go for it. You have to go for life. And as much as I felt I’d been punched in the stomach when I learnt the news, as much as I want them here with me, I also want them to live.

Linda Nolan