Judge shares touching letter he wrote to young boys amid parents' custody battle
A heartbreaking letter that a judge wrote to two boys whose parents were involved in a bitter custody battle has been published.
Judge John McKendrick said that he'd told the boys' parents to "behave a bit better" and "stop the crap" in a letter explaining to the brothers, aged eight and 11, why he ruled that they could not live full-time with their mum.
The judge had been asked to decide whether the boys should continue living in London and splitting their time between both of their parents, or whether they should be allowed to move to Somerset with their mother.
During the court battle he heard evidence including the wishes of the boys, who had said that they liked the idea of moving to Somerset.
The elder brother also said: "I wish my mum and dad would be back together and stop arguing and all of this crap that is going on," My London reports.
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The judge explained his ruling in a letter to the boys
Judge McKendrick ruled that the boys should stay living in London (Getty Images)The couple divorced in 2017 and following their split decided the children should alternate weeks with each parent.
But in January 2020 the mother bought a new home and started splitting her time between Somerset and London.
She wanted to move the boys to Somerset and send them to schools there, but the judge ruled that they should remain in London over concern that their dad wouldn't have a "proper role" in their lives if they moved.
The judge explained the ruling to the boys in a letter that has now been published to show how decisions are made in family court proceedings.
He wrote: "Dear [A] and [B], my name is John and I am a judge. I met your Mum and Dad at court in London last week. Your mum and dad have asked me to make decisions for you both about where you should live.
"Your Mum asked me to decide that you should both come and live with her in Somerset and see your Dad only every second weekend and at holidays. Mum wants you to go to schools in Somerset.
"Your Dad asked me to decide that things should stay as they are. That you spend one week with him and the other week with your Mum in London. Dad wants you to go to schools in London."
Explaining how he'd made his decision he added: "I think you met a lady called Shelley in July and you told her what you wanted. She told me you both liked the idea of living with your Mum in Somerset. Shelley spoke to me as well last week.
"I hope you both understand that I have made the decision and not your Mum or your Dad. Judges sometimes have to make decisions when parents cannot agree.
"I have decided you should both continue to live in London with one week in the care of your Dad and then one week in the care of your Mum. This means you will both go to school in London from next week. I have decided you should have nice holidays in Somerset and I will speak with your Mum and Dad again to sort that out.
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"I have made this decision after considering who you both are, what you both need and things like your education, happiness and your welfare. I have decided you need each other - I think you are good brothers to each other.
"I also think you need to spend time with your Mum and with your Dad. They both need to play an important role in caring for you. I was worried your Dad might not have a full and proper role in your lives if you lived in Somerset.
"Looking at all these things in the round I felt this was the best decision for your both, although of course I considered what you both wanted."
Judge McKendrick then addressed the elder brother's wishes, saying: "I have also asked your Mum and Dad to behave a bit better. I know you both find the arguing that happens between them difficult.
"Although it is a naughty word, [A], you are right to describe it to Shelley as "crap". I have told your parents to stop "the crap".
"I hope you can both settle down with the new school term with week about [sic] with Mum and Dad in your London homes. I hope you will enjoy nice holidays in Somerset. I wish you both good luck. Judge John."
The judge made the decision in August last year but agreed for the judgement to be published with anonymity so that the public can see how it was made.
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