'I visited Europe's most boring city in an hour - it lived down to the hype'

30 October 2023 , 13:34

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'I visited Europe's most boring city in an hour - it lived down to the hype'

Recently I made an hour-long visit to a city regularly condemned as Europe's most boring; Brussels.

Starting at the famed Manneken Pis statue depicting a urinating child (who had been dressed up in a miniature gown and hat to celebrate the city's graduating students that day), I dashed to the Monument a Everard t'Serclaes, helping the reclining lady's leg become even shinier with a quick, traditional good luck rub.

Pausing in the central Grand Place square for a moment, I took in the opulent Baroque guildhalls and the neo-Gothic King's House. Not wanting to waste any more time or spend six euros, I read the first paragraph of the grand City Museum's Wikipedia entry while looking at its exterior.

Culturally enriched, next up was a portion of mayonnaise-covered frites eaten while looking at a Rene Magritte painting on the side of a house before a crispy waffle powered me up the hill towards the Royal Palace. I glanced back at the impressive view of the city's rooftops as I barrelled onto a coach and out of there, catching a glimpse of one of Auguste Rodin's Thinkers through the window before quickly stopping to stand in front of 'Belgium's Eiffel Tower', the futuristic Atomium statue.

I went to see whether the city deserves its reputation (Milo Boyd)

We just had time to visit the futuristic Atomium statue (Milo Boyd)

The route had been suggested to me by a native of the city replying to a Reddit post of mine just before I arrived. They had helpfully detailed their Sunday morning walk after I'd asked for last minute recommendations, having somehow found myself on a coach to Brussels rather than to charming Bruges as intended.

You can get paid £2,000 to go on holiday and post about it on social media

As absurd, rushed and dissatisfying as my tour of Brussels had been, it is more than some of the city's harshest critics would suggest spending in a European hub often referred to as the Continent's capital thanks to the EU's heavy presence there, and often slammed for being boring.

"As much as I tried, I still could not shake the feeling that Brussels was undeniably boring," one travel blogger recently wrote of Brussels following a trip there. Back in 2008 it was awarded the tedious title in a survey of international travellers, who judged it to be duller than Zurich and Warsaw. On a continental scale, it comes in for criticism as regularly as unfairly maligned UK cities including Birmingham and Hull.

Brussels is often dubbed 'dull' and 'boring' (Getty Images)

From my hour poking around the city, the criticism does seem a little just. It has a functional, workman-like feel thanks to the huge number of governmental buildings. And yes, it does look like an AI picture generator's attempt to 'simulate a standard European capital'. The atmosphere is pleasant enough, many of the buildings beautiful and it is home to two of the Continent's great contributions to culinary culture - waffles and chips - but there is a distinct Sunday afternoon feel to the place.

As my visit to Brussels was fleeting, my impression of it possible hugely off the mark. However, it was an experience not totally dissimilar to how millions of people take in some of the world's great cities each year while on cruises. Many packages, such as the Hamburg to Southampton route I was following aboard the MSC Euribia this week, ambitiously take on a new city every day. The challenge is to make the most of each new destination.

One fellow passenger Jasmine, a 25-year-old from the USA, was visiting Europe for the first time and loved being able to cover such a lot of ground in such a short time. She particularly appreciated the chance to visit Amsterdam and the Anne Frank Museum. Similar Jacks, a young New Zealander, was hugely excited about his first time in Europe after seven days aboard, even if he found the beer too expensive.

Whether you fall into the slow or whistle-stop tourism camp, Brussels is at very least worth an afternoon of your time, even if just to decide for yourself that its not your flavour of waffle.

Milo Boyd