Menopause and marriage breakdown drove woman to suicide as life saved by meeting
A woman has revealed how menopause and a marriage breakdown drove her to suicide, as she revealed that one meeting left her feeling "like a different person".
Andrea Newton, 56, had a successful business, a loving son and a husband, but a difficult divorce meant that she began suffering from crippling depression and anxiety.
Despite seeking professional help for her debilitating symptoms, and being told that the separation was the cause, Andrea’s emotional struggles had still not improved when the divorce was finalised, Manchester Evening News report.
However, years later, the mother has revealed how a meeting saved her life when her GP took a blind eye to her menopause symptoms.
Five years after her divorce Andrea paid to see a private specialist (Andrea Newton)Speaking out about how she was first told to increase her medication, she said: “They kept increasing my antidepressants, Valium and propranolol, and even thought everything in life was lighter and brighter, I still wasn’t feeling better," adding: "I started to feel worse.”
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The businesswoman revealed that her mental health started to deteriorate, to the point were she began experiencing suicidal thoughts. Tragically, she even set out a plan of how she would take her own life, saying: "I made a plan to end my life and it was a detailed plan.
“I knew what I was going to do, where I was going to go, how I would do it and how it would work. I drove to the place where I intended to carry out the plan." However, Andrea, who lives in Widnes, Cheshire, said that it was the thought of her dog - a 10-year-old rescue Lurcher called Asbo who was with her at the time - that stopped. She feared that being so close to the road he would run away and come to harm.
Andrea received hormone replacement therapy (Andrea Newton)Admittedly, Andrea said that she had "no thoughts of my son, no thoughts of my parents or friends," and that "in that moment, that was all that was in my head. I was worried about the dog. We were close to the road. I’m very open about my story and I want people to know why the dog means as much to me as he does. Whether he realises it or not, he saved my life that day.”
Following the incident, Andrea returned to her GP and asked whether she could have been going through the menopause. They told her it wasn’t possible because blood tests showed she wasn’t. However, with blood testing not being a reliable indicator for menopause diagnosis, Andrea later discovered they were wrong.
“My periods had stopped and I wasn’t sleeping, but everyone put it down to stress from the divorce,” she added. “I had been doing research because we all know our own cycle. Despite all the drugs, why did I still feel suicidal? I was completely in his blind spot.”
Five years after her divorce, in 2022, Andrea paid to see a private specialist where she was finally told she was experiencing menopausal symptoms. She was placed on a hormone replacement therapy treatment and saw a drastic change in her mood within weeks. The menopause occurs when a woman stops having periods. It's a natural part of ageing that usually happens between 45 and 55 years old. Symptoms of the menopause include hot flushes, night sweats and vaginal dryness. However, changes in hormones during the menopause can impact a woman’s mental health as well as physical health.
Despite seeking professional help for her debilitating symptoms, the businesswoman's emotional struggles had still not improved when the divorce was finalised (Andrea Newton)They may experience feelings of anxiety, stress or depression. Menopausal symptoms may include anger and irritability, anxiety, forgetfulness, loss of self-esteem, loss of confidence, low mood and feelings of sadness or depression, poor concentration – often described as ‘brain fog’ and/or lost words.
The main treatment for menopausal symptoms is hormone replacement therapy, which is what Andrea received. The mum is now training to be a menopause coach to help inform and educate around the menopause, mental health and suicide.
“My oestrogen levels were so low they were never going to pick up,” she added. “It was a very quick change; within two weeks I felt like a different person. I could be left unsupervised. One weekend in particular, I had a friend who jumped in a car and drove to see me from Kent because she knew it was the weekend I was going to take my life.
“She stayed with me all weekend until I got the private appointment the following Tuesday morning. The scariest thing is, once your mind has been to that place, I think it’s quite easy to go there again. The divorce triggered very poor mental health then the menopause kicked in. I needed hormone replacement therapy, not antidepressants - HRT was the missing ingredient.”
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The Samaritans is available 24/7 if you need to talk. You can contact them for free by calling 116 123, email [email protected] or head to the website to find your nearest branch. You matter.
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