'My entitled girlfriend wants to be a stay-at-home mum - she's so lazy'
A man has been praised for refusing to let his girlfriend be a stay-at-home mum while he goes out to work to provide for their family. He met his girlfriend, Amy, 29, through mutual friends and started a relationship with her in May 2022. He accepted her two children from a previous relationship with open arms, saying the “twin boys are seven-years-old now, I get along great with them.”
But when they discussed moving in together, the 28-year-old man found they had wildly different expectations. “Things didn’t seem like a problem until she asked if we could find a place that I could afford to pay rent on my own. In case she became a stay-at-home mum," he said on Reddit. He explained they weren’t planning on having children together. His girlfriend was aware that he’d had a vasectomy.
But still, she pressed on: “She said it’s always been her dream to be a stay-at-home mum for her kids and the boys will benefit a lot from always having her home. She said she knows it’ll be a lot for me to take on but she would appreciate if we could talk about it and possibly make it happen as soon as we move in together.”
He told her he honestly wasn’t comfortable being the sole breadwinner for our four-person household. He said: “I could afford rent on my own but groceries, bills, stuff the kids will need etc, I can’t afford all that and if I could make it work, that would leave nothing for savings.
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“I said the boys are in school most of the day and although I agree that any child will greatly benefit from having a parent available 24/7, I don't think it’s a necessity. I also told her I’d be stressed out having them all rely on me. She said she understands and that it’s fine. We didn’t speak about it again.”
The guy thought the matter had been dealt with and everyone knew where they stood until he got a call from Amy’s mum a week later. Her mum asked me “why I decided to date a single mother if I’m not willing to step up for her and her kids?”
“To be honest this kind of p**** me off. I didn’t know deciding to date a single mum meant I’d have to happily be financially responsible for them all. I told her with all due respect, this was between me and Amy.” The mother ignored this and continued to say that it was her daughter's "only chance of being completely devoted to her kids, and although I can easily afford it, I’m being stingy.”
Her mum told him: "He couldn’t be bothered to make a sacrifice.” He repeated it wasn’t her business and cut the call there, saying he had to do his utmost not to say something rude. “My blood was boiling," he said.
The man asked Amy why her mother had called him about something he considered private, between him and his partner. “She said she thought it would be better for her to get her mum's perspective. She needed someone to vent to about the situation and her mum just has her best interest at heart.”
He angrily responded: “Would it be OK for me to go tell my mum that my girlfriend is asking me to bankroll her and her children’s lives and watch my mum call her names for it?” Amy said he was taking her mother's reprieve ‘too personally”. Amy said, “I should’ve expected things to not go great after our discussion.” He ends his post by stating, “I’m at a loss here.”
Reddit commenters sided with the man, one said: “You’re not an a******, but you do realise she plans to make this happen whether you agree or not, right? You’ll move in together and she’ll get ‘let go’, then have ‘trouble’ finding a job.”
One more chimed in: “This is how it sounds to me too. She already 'decided' not to work and that she has a meal ticket and right now she is just in the process of making it happen one way or the other.” Another agreed: “Wow, The audacity. Since you're happy to play with my kids, now pay for them. Oh, and me too. Why? Because I said so. Run for the hills.”
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