'I spent thousands on my friend's sham wedding - they split two weeks after'

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She's livid her friend is laughing it off (Stock Photo) (Image: Getty Images/Tetra images RF)

Weddings should be a day filled with happiness and love, as you soak up the moment with your life-partner, surrounded by your close family and friends. However, there's no denying they can become an expensive day, for everyone involved.

One woman is livid with how much she spent on her friend's wedding - for THREE hen do's, a pricey hotel room and lavish wedding gifts - only for the couple to split up two weeks after their big day. The bride has added salt to the wound as she simply "laughed it off".

Feeling unsure on whether or not it's unreasonable to be annoyed by the whole fiasco, the woman feels let down that she put so much effort into her close friend's big day. Despite wanting to be understanding to her friend about the breakdown of her new marriage, she's resentful of the money she's lost.

Taking to Mumsnet to ask for advice on whether she is in the wrong, she wrote: "Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed at spending so much money on my friend's dream wedding day for it all to be a sham and over in a matter of weeks? I know it sounds selfish but I can't help feeling so upset at the amount of effort I went to and the money I spent on making it amazing for her.

"She is being so blasé about the whole situation and laughing about it being the shortest marriage, she knew it wasn't going to last etc. I've tried speaking to her seriously about it to get a better understanding. We knew he maybe wasn't the right fit for her and I could totally understand her decision if it was a DV [domestic violence] situation but she said they are not right for each other."

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The bride was worried about "letting people down" and admitted she would have been embarrassed to cancel the big day as she wanted her "fairytale day and the wedding of dreams" at the expense of her friends and family. The woman explained how there were a lot of financial costs that came with being a part of the bride's big day.

Her post further detailed: "Three hen do's, one in Tenerife, one at home and a UK trip also bottomless brunches, dress try on with lunches. The hotel for the wedding was £450 for a room to stay over plus every other expense that goes with a wedding, outfits, shoes, bag, make-up, and drinks. That takes me to a few thousand pounds easily. Then don't get me started on the wedding gift! Just makes me so mad. I surely can't be the only one feeling like this!?"

As her friend "gave no indication" that there was anything wrong in their relationship, and said how you "never know what's going on behind closed doors" she's confused as to how it only lasted two weeks. "Obviously her happiness comes first and is more important than money but it has just irked me that I spent so much and put so much effort into little details to make it really special and essentially the guests funded a day for her to feel like a princess and it was never about getting married," she explained.

Her opinions create a divided opinion online as some are in support and told her to ask for the gift back, whereas others told her she shouldn't have spent more than she could afford. "Well I think you were a bit daft to spend so much on someone else's wedding, especially if you knew beforehand the couple were unlikely to last, but nevertheless I agree it's frustrating and a bit of a letdown." Another user said: "It was your choice to spend the money. Don't buy things you can't afford."

However, another mum tried to make light of the situation and said: "Did you enjoy the hen parties and bottomless brunches? Would have have gone on a couple of girls' holidays with friends if asked, without there being a wedding involved? A couple of nice lunches? I don't think you need to see all of that as a waste of money. You had two holidays and some nice days out. £450 for a room for the night plus whatever the gift cost I would be quietly annoyed about though."

Niamh Kirk

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