17 women lift the lid on the many symptoms of Perimenopause and the Menopause

18 October 2023 , 08:00

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17 women tell us about their experience with Perimenopause and Menopause symptoms

Are there 34, 44 or 100 Menopause symptoms? Who really knows? The fact that there's no official number on record goes to show that there are just too many to count!

Thankfully though, as more women choose to talk about this phase of life, which for many comes with persistent feelings of 'not feeling like myself' or worse; we're slowly but surely discovering that those at times debilitating feelings and situations are in fact symptoms of Perimenopause and the Menopause.

Many women are unaware that symptoms can start from as early as your mid 30s - which is known as Perimenopause, which also means that a woman could potentially experience many life-changing symptoms right through to the Menopause phase which is said to begin when your menstrual cycle stops at around 51-years.

As October is Menopause Awareness Month and the 18th October is World Menopause Day, we decided xto ask several brave women if they would share when they first experienced symptoms of either the Perimenopause or the Menopause; when they had that lightbulb moment and realised what is was, and how it impacted their lives.

More women are beginning to talk about the Menopause

It was important that those who contributed with a snippet of their story revealed their age, the reason for this was so that our readers would get a sense of what symptoms are real (and possibly you're not going doolally), and at what age they can occur.

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The purpose was also so that those who feel like they're suffering alone know that they're not, and that anyone feeling like 'not themselves' or like they're 'losing it', know that potentially, what you and millions of other women are experiencing is more than likely (depending on your age) symptoms of the Perimenopause or the Menopause.

You're not alone - many women are experiencing many of the same symptoms

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Read on to find out what many other women are also experiencing

"I suffered from a range of symptoms including most of the usual ones like hot flushes and brain fog. What I wasn’t expecting was symptoms like restless legs at night, under active bowels, hair loss and ringing in my ears. Happy to report that most of these went away when I started HRT, and six months later I feel like my old self again." - Nicky, 46

"My periods just completely stopped at 47 and I started suffering from hideous anxiety. Then came the joint and tendon pain and inflammation that was so bad I was prescribed methotrexate (a cancer drug) and so many anti-inflammatory drugs that they eventually messed up my kidneys. During that whole time not one single doctor suggested it could be related to the menopause, and I finally made the connection after doing my own research. I stopped all the meds and have never taken HRT - still get hot flushes but I can cope with them." - Julia, 54

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"I’m coping with most of the usual symptoms, but the most random one is excruciating joint pain, mainly in my knees and my hands." - Beccy, 47

Suffering from persistent migraines is common

"I had migraines every month when I was having periods and it was definitely hormone-related, I could mark on the calendar when they were due! Apparently, post menopause the hormonal migraines can go one of 2 different ways - they can stop completely or they can get much worse. Unfortunately post menopause mine ramped up to 3-4 days every week and it was debilitating and made life unbearable. I didn’t realise this was a menopause thing and my very understanding GP prescribed medication which mostly keeps it at bay." - Julia, 57

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"Itchy skin, anxiety, insomnia and joint pain - all things I know now are peri-menopause symptoms but when they started they were exacerbations of symptoms I’d always suffered with - I had no idea approaching menopause was going to send them all off the scale in terms of frequency and severity." - Lis, 55

"Anxiety, insomnia, palpitations, mood swings, anger, brain fog and low libido. All started happening one year ago. Thanks to a great group of friends who talked about perimenopause and menopause openly I knew straight away that it could be that, the NHS doctor confirmed (again very lucky with my NHS experience) and thanks to all of the information that this fantastic group has provided I decided to start HRT patches a month ago. I should hopefully see the positive effects in a couple of months." - Gloria, 47

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Insomnia could be the cause of many of your other symptoms

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"Increased risk of osteoporosis - which I have. The diagnosis (after a broken wrist led to a bone density scan) made me feel horribly vulnerable. I think there needs to be more info / greater push on info about keeping bones healthy for as long as possible." - Sue, 55.

“I was told six years ago that I was perimenopausal after a visit to the doctors. I had bloating, cramps and was feeling out of sorts but couldn’t explain why. I carried on as normal but around 12 months ago my symptoms heightened. The inability to have a good night's sleep really affects me and I have found myself struggling with motivation and organisation. My hair has also become very thin, all of which have impacted my wellbeing. Hot flashes started around six months ago and are the most uncomfortable symptom that I have but the one that bothers me the most is the weight gain that feels impossible to shift. Despite going to the gym and eating well, I still battle to lose the weight that seemed to appear overnight. It’s a killer for my self esteem and confidence. I have currently been advised not to start my HRT as I have a family history of breast cancer and I am awaiting to see what the genetics team says first.” - Tracy Shufflebotham, 51

"I started noticing that I was experiencing perimenopause symptoms in 2021 when I was 47 - the symptoms I was experiencing were likely due to hormonal dips linked to the perimenopause phase of my life. One of the most disconcerting and scary symptoms was the huge drop in energy levels. I would wake up feeling quite physically and mentally exhausted, even after a good night's sleep. Another symptom I never expected was feeling that I was not much use and that my family would be better off without me. This came on gradually and progressively worsened. After a year of symptoms appearing and layering on top of each other I decided to go to my GP to request HRT. After taking HRT for a year now the most severe and unpleasant symptoms have gone and I feel like myself again." - F, 49

Low energy levels and mental exhaustion are also symptoms of both Perimenopause and the Menopause

"My main symptoms of going through the perimenopause/menopause is the itching of my hands and feet, especially at night time. This usually happens when I’m having hot flushes. My sleep pattern has also become erratic, waking numerous times throughout the night. Tiredness is also a big factor and I’m nowhere near as energetic as I used to be. I’m taking HRT for this in the form of gel, it eases the problems but it doesn’t cure them." - Claire, 47

"Perimenopause came when I was 42 but didn’t realise until I was 45. I was tired, achy, my joints hurt, I had no get-up-and-go and didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere, and also had hot sweats night and day. I started using herbal remedies which worked for a while but the sweats, brain fog, memory loss and mood swings got worse. I felt like an alien had taken over my body and didn't recognise me anymore; I definitely wasn't myself. At 48 I contacted my doctor after talking through my symptoms and the risks I decided to start my HRT journey. Wow! I wish I'd have done it sooner - all my symptoms have majorly decreased, I still get a few hot sweats and joint pains and my memory isn't great, but I actually feel human again and recognise myself". - Nicki, 51

"I was 42 the first time I realised something was wrong, I started to have panic attacks about driving, and I love driving! I became anxious, worried and started to question if I was driving correctly or not, and began to feel exceptionally emotional over the smallest thing which was unlike me. On one occasion I remember having to pull over while driving because I was having a panic attack, I called my husband thinking something was majorly wrong and told him ‘incase I die, I love you’. I was finally diagnosed as perimenopausal at 46." - Joanne, 50

"I believe I am at the start of my perimenopause journey. Last year, I noticed feelings of anxiety creeping into daily life. Being a working mum of 3 plus studying for a masters, I was managing the juggle pretty well. I have also always exercised for my physical and mental health but last year I felt completely overwhelmed. It escalated into panic attacks and incredibly intrusive thoughts I couldn’t control. I felt I was losing my mind and was so close to signing off work. I was fobbed off by medical professionals as being ‘too young’. I’ve also noticed symptoms of tinnitus, digestive issues and night time leg cramps. I’ve made lifestyle changes and I feel a lot better now but it was a scary time." - S, 42

Brain fog and forgetfulness is more common than you think

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"Where do I start? Changes in my cycle, my mood, night sweats, brain fog and difficulties shifting stubborn pounds. It’s been a strange kind of emergence for me realising what’s happening and accepting this new stage of my life. Surely being only 42 is way too early right? Wrong! I am definitely perimenopausal. It’s not easy to navigate through, especially the ‘do I, don’t I?’ HRT dilemma. But I’m grateful for recent open conversations about this stage of a woman’s life, and I hope when my daughter’s my age the culture shifts even further." - Sarah B, 42

"I think I started getting perimenopause symptoms in my mid to late 30's. Everything felt off and the ‘blame it on the hormones’ things that were my normal such as cramps, feeling tired, cravings became increasingly intense. Then came the brain fog, aches and pains in random places, intense breast pains and lumps, palpitations, anxiety, hair loss... I felt and still feel like I’m going a little crazy. I've had blood tests, ECG's, ultrasounds, therapy, you name it, but there’s never any real answers. When I questioned if it was Perimenopause, I always got the same answers from my GP - ‘you're too young, can't do anything until you haven't had a period for at least a year. I'm now 42 with the same symptoms coming and going with no sign of my periods slowing down. Like so many other women I talk to, I'll just keep going with hope that there's a light at the end of a tunnel." - Francesca, 42

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"Perimenopause started for me at 42 but I didn't realise what it was until I was about 45. I was tired, achy, had no get up and go, and I didn't really want to do anything or go anywhere and my joints really hurt, and I found it hard to just walk to the bathroom in the mornings. I then started to have major hot sweats night and day. I started using herbal remedies which worked for a while but the sweats, brain fog, memory loss and mood swings were getting worse, I felt like I had no control and didn't recognise me anymore, I definitely wasn't myself. At 48 I contacted my doctor, after talking through my symptoms and the risks I decided to start my HRT journey....wow I wish I'd have done it sooner, all my symptoms have majorly decreased, I still get a few hot sweats and joint pains and my memory isn't great , but I actually feel human and recognise myself again. I'm now fully menopausal and one of the hardest things was getting my husband and four children to understand what I was going through. It has taken time but I think they finally realise what a toll it takes on you. My journey continues but thank god I've Got HRT along for the ride." - Nicki Hussain, 51

“I turned 40 in August and just two weeks into this new decade I’ve already noticed a serious case of brain fog, increasing as the weeks go by. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but in the last month I’ve noticed a heightened level which is particularly impacting my working life. Not being able to remember simple words or names has impacted the way I communicate and present to my team at work. I now find myself pausing trying to think of the words that have escaped me. This is impacting the way I feel with my peers and other executives, as I seem disorganised and unprepared. In turn this has made me self-conscious and anxious, more so as I'm at a senior level in my career and want to progress further." - Mariam, 40

As there are so many symptoms of Perimenopause and the Menopause, we will continue to include shared experiences in this article. If you would like to share your story - please contact: [email protected]

Charlotte Henry