'I refuse to marry without a prenup - my fiancée is hurt but I won't back down'

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A man has admitted he won
A man has admitted he won't get married without a prenup but his fiancée is devastated with his decision (Stock Photo) (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Prenuptial agreements are becoming more common as the divorce rate has grown, and as a way to make sure that if the worst case scenario does happen, they make life easier to negotiate with each other.

Whilst they aren't inherently romantic, they are a way for a couple to have confidence in their future together financially. As some view them as vital, others view them as an omen that your marriage will fail, but you would hope that you and the love of your life might agree and one man found himself in a predicament when he refused to get married without a prenup.

The 29-year-old proposed to his fiancée a few months ago on a trip to Italy. Upon returning, his partner has become obsessed with planning every detail. "To the extent of calling me at work to confirm colours or styles of certain decoration pieces. I work in tech, it's a pretty well-known company and my job pays decently. My girlfriend works in retail, she obviously doesn't make as much as me, but I don't mind financially supporting her," he shared in a Reddit post as he discussed the explosive argument that followed.

While enjoying a nice dinner, his fiancée raised the matter of legal details. "I listen and nod as she speaks, occasionally cutting in to ask questions and give input." Towards the end of the discussion, he suggested filing for a prenup at the same time they file for their license.

"As soon as I finished saying this, I could see my fiancée’s stomach drop, her entire demeanour changed and she held an expression somewhere between angry and hurt. She explained that we didn't need a prenup, and I quote, 'it's just pointless'." His fiancée said she planned on staying married forever so a prenup wouldn't matter anyway. "I said that having a prenup would just make me feel more comfortable and that it was just a precaution." Upset, his partner asked if he trusted her.

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"I explained that it had nothing to do with trust, it was simply about having it in the event something were to happen. She snapped saying that I was being unreasonable and that if I didn't trust her to just say so. I raised my voice and said, 'I do trust you, I just want the prenup as a safety measure since I make more than you.'"

Shocked she said nothing. He explained that "a prenup makes me feel more comfortable, if you don't want to sign one then fine, but I can't get married without it." She stormed off, walking out the front door and driving off. before he could stop her. "I've been texting and calling, no response, the only sort of contact I've received was a message from her mum explaining that she would be staying with her until things cooled down."

He stated that he owned the house they currently live in, and they own their respective cars. He pays over half the bills because he understands that she doesn't make as much, and they don't plan on having children and further added: "I want to stay with this amazing woman, and I definitely should have mentioned a prenup prior. I figured since we see eye to eye on pretty much everything, we'd see eye-to-eye on this as well. Obviously, that wasn't the case."

Redditors chimed in with their perspective on the tricky situation. One person pointed out "Why hasn't this been a point of discussion when you were talking about getting engaged or married? My wife and I had discussed prenups long before we even got engaged, it was never a topic I ever blindsided my wife after getting engaged, but we both knew the terms that we wanted a prenup on before deciding to get engaged. What else haven't you discussed?"

Another person mentioned "She can request whatever she wants in the prenup. He can agree or not as well. She should absolutely demand something for the contingency she stays home and there is a divorce. She can ask for alimony to be included."

"I don't think either of them are aware of what a [prenup] really is", one person observed. "Sounds like he might think a prenup is a "you can't take my money" form you drop off with your marriage license instead of a contract that's negotiated for the benefit of both parties. And it sounds like his fiancé might think that too based on her response."

Would you get a prenup? Let us know in the comments.

Bryony Gooch

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