'The Tory team are talking their way to relegation and won't win next election'
It's been a terrible week for VAR in English football.
A legitimate goal was ruled offside at Spurs and a recording was released that made the confused VAR officials sound like a shower of Frank Spencer clones suffering from Tourette’s. Which has led to many fans who already loathe this passion-killing intrusion into their game demand it be axed. It won’t happen. But if football did ditch VAR where would it go?
How about politics? Imagine if we had fact-checkers judging every claim made in speeches, stopping the orator and dishing out a yellow card whenever they lied or misled, with a red and a sending-off issued for two deliberate falsehoods. Had it been trialled at this week’s Tory conference the whole shebang would have been over in a matter of hours as most speakers dragged truth deep into Manchester’s sewers. Here’s some edited lowlights.
Suella Braverman warned of a “hurricane” of illegal immigrants heading here, when the number is actually down on last year. She also said “I am a hate figure because I tell the truth”, when she’s despised because she spreads hate through lies. Red card. There was Secretary of State for Energy Claire Coutinho claiming that Labour “seems relaxed” about taxing meat. They have no plans to tax meat.
How about London mayoral candidate Susan Hall saying: “I know how frightened some of the Jewish community is because of the divisive -attitude of Sadiq Khan”, when there is not one reported instance of Khan saying anything remotely antisemitic. In an Agincourt-style rallying cry, Penny Mordaunt declared the next general election was about stopping Labour militants “return us to the 1980s”. When the Tories were in charge throughout that decade.
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Sucking up to petrolheads and conspiracy theorists Transport Secretary Mark Harper said he would put a stop to plans for 15-minute cities where “local councils can decide how often you go to the shops, and ration who uses the roads”. No plans exist. Jeremy Hunt vowed to claw back £1billion worth of civil service salaries next year. Yeah, sure.
Health Secretary Steve Barclay (one of six Cabinet ministers playing the gender card) said he was addressing the NHS wokery problem by banning transgender hospital patients from being treated in female-only wards. But there is no problem. When hospital trusts were asked last year to list complaints from biologically female inpatients about trans patients’ -presence, none were recorded.
Liz Truss declared herself the divine deliverer of growth despite being given a chance to grow the UK economy and shrinking it like a good jumper in the wash. Which brings us to Rishi Sunak who claimed inflation is a tax when it isn’t and announced £36billion of new transport infrastructure plans when most were rehashed schemes.
He christened himself the one true agent of change, claiming Britain was being held back by “30 years of vested interests” when his party was in power for two-thirds of that period and he held the positions of Chief Secretary to the Treasury, -Chancellor and Prime Minister. The more I think about it, fact-checking VAR wouldn’t work with this breed of politician as whenever their mouths open untruths fall out.
That conference was the bluntest of admissions that for 13 years they have done nothing but make this country worse, covering up their incompetence by churning out utter bulls**t at every turn. Which is why they are nailed-on for a red card and a five-year ban at the next election.
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