Rugby World Cup winner says medal means nothing and 'might as well be ashtray'

23 September 2023 , 15:29

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Rugby World Cup winner says medal means nothing and 'might as well be ashtray'

Winning the Rugby World Cup for England should be the highlight of Steve Thompson’s life.

But as the former hooker stares at the medal he was awarded after a 20-17 victory over Australia in 2003, all he can think about is how rugby has ruined everything. The dad-of-four blames the sport for the disease that has left him struggling with mental illness, robbed him of family memories and pushed him to the brink of suicide.

Early onset dementia linked to head injuries means Steve cannot remember his children’s names or marrying his wife of 11 years, Steph. Revealing that he is thinking of selling his medal, Steve, 45, says: “It might as well be an ashtray. I don’t remember anything about that World Cup. I’ve watched the final. It’s like I’m watching a stranger.

“My eldest daughter is really into sport. She asks me if I have played in those stadiums. I suppose I must have, but I don’t know. That version of me is dead. Winning the World Cup should have been one of the highlights of my life but I wish it never happened.” As a rugby union hooker, who won 73 caps for England and played for Northampton Saints, Leeds Carnegie, London Wasps and French team CA Brive, Steve’s skull would have taken a lot of impact.

Steve and wife Steph, who has given up her job to care for him (STEVE ALLEN)

Steve in action on the pitch (PA)

After years of struggling with dark moods and memory loss, and talking with Wales international Alix Popham, who was seeing a specialist, Steve had tests in November 2020. Doctors said he probably had chronic traumatic encephalopathy – brain damage from repeated head injuries. It can only be diagnosed in a postmortem but confirmed cases are growing in football, rugby union, rugby league and American football.

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Steve’s initial reaction was relief that he had not “gone stupid”. But as he learned more about the disease and began losing his memories, he sank into despair. He reveals: “There have been two instances where I came close to ending it all. I’m lucky I have a good doctor who has put me on medication and I’ve got Steph. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

Steph, 38, mum to their kids Seren, 10, Slone, eight, Saskia, six, and Saxon, four, quit her job as a flight attendant to care for her husband and their family. After losing her gran to dementia, she is aware of the devastation the disease causes. Steph says: “It upset me when he started to forget the kids’ names. It made me think about how my nan didn’t remember my mum. It’s hard, knowing what’s ahead.”

Steve has a bedroom on the ground floor of their Cheshire home and he and Steph have discussed adaptations. He says: “This isn’t what Steph signed up for. What is her future? The time could come when she’ll need to carry me around, put me to bed. I won’t be a husband, I’ll be a patient and she’ll be my nurse.”

But Steph disagrees, insisting: “That is exactly what I signed up for. I’ll do everything I can to look after him. He shouldn’t feel guilty for something that’s not his fault.” Dementia has stopped Steve working and he may sell his medal, as times are tough. But he has more precious time with his kids.

Steve says: “We’ve told them I have a poorly head, that’s why I forget their names or stop talking mid-sentence. Saskia came in from school one day and kissed my head. She said she was kissing it better. At moments like that, I have to hold it together.” As England played Chile in the World Cup at Lille’s Stade Pierre-Mauroy stadium last night, Steve warned other players of the risks, saying: “Dementia is like a hand grenade. It doesn’t just hit one person. It affects everyone around them.”

Football and rugby league have launched brain health funds to help players living with dementia but rugby union has been slow to follow. So Steve, who has banned players in the girls’ football team he coaches from heading the ball, is part of a move to take legal action against the sport’s governing bodies.

He adds: “That’s the part of my rugby career that I’m proudest about now. It’s not winning the World Cup, it’s the fact that I might help to make the game a little bit safer.”

• Steve Thompson's autobiography, Unforgettable: Rugby, dementia, and the fight of my life, is published by Blink Publishing and is now available in paperback. It is the winner of the Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year Awards.

Warren Manger