15 September 2023 , 13:46
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Having a good relationship with your in-laws is something that many people can only dream of, and if you get on with them, it's something that you certainly shouldn't take for granted. But one woman's mother-in-law was taking their "civil relationship" to another level by texting her "20 to 25 times per day" - and the woman was finding it difficult to cope with.
The texts that were sent varied in content, from what she'd been up to that day, to trying to send her pictures of new things she'd just purchased - and the messages "start at around 7am" each and every day.
The woman took to Mumsnet to explain the situation, writing: "My mother-in-law wants to text 24/7. We have a very civil relationship - we invite her to our house at least once or twice a month and if she's in the area more often she can always pop in, we've never said no (whether my husband is home or at work). And when they do visit we're absolutely fine, no conflict, have polite conversation. I'm a stay-at-home mum. She's (seemingly) happily married and seems to have a lot of friends near where she lives (about an hour from us).
"She has recently decided she wants to text me 20-25 times per day (no exaggeration) with things like 'Are you enjoying the sunshine', 'Do you want to see my new vase' 'I just swam, isn't swimming such a nice sport?' 'What's the baby doing' 'How is your mum' 'Are you having a nice day' 'How was the park' and honestly it's a bit much for me. If I give short responses like 'Yes thank you' or 'All good, thank you' or a thumbs up or if I ignore the messages she doesn't get the message and sends more random questions and chat.
"If I try to call her and discuss all these pressing questions, then she will act surprised if I round off the call after 15 minutes (nothing is said, just the same small talk) she acts surprised that I've got to go and tries to call back later with something new like 'Oh you'll never believe what I saw in M&S! Heart shaped cookies so I bought them but they don't taste as nice as I hoped'. I told my husband I'm finding it annoying and I don't have time to keep pointless talk going - I'd rather play with my daughter or cook her a meal than be glued to my phone."
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The woman's husband "subtly" explained to his mum that his wife wasn't "loving" the constant messaging, but they invited her on a day out sometime soon and it apparently made her "mother-in-law very upset" as she wanted a similar relationship with her as she had with her own daughter. "They message from morning to night and share every minor detail ('had salad for lunch' 'saw a cute dog')", she explained. "Now my husband is upset that his mum is upset..."
In the comments, many thought the mother-in-law was sweet for making an effort, with one commenting: "Aw bless her! It can be annoying though, just maybe text her back at the end of the day with a long round-up message and then say, just sorting the kids then I'm off for a bath speak tomorrow! X And when you have time call her for a longer chat?"
Others had less sympathy, writing: "Mute her, ignore the messages. Flick through once a day to see if there's anything important you need to answer. She'll soon stop."