Jade Goody's tragic worry about her boys that Bobby Brazier has proven wrong
Say the name Jade Goody to any reality TV fan of a certain age, and they will perform facial gymnastics. First they’ll smile, then look troubled, then smile again before finally sighing sadly.
They’re remembering how funny and spirited the Big Brother star Jade was, that she was flawed and made huge mistakes, that she learnt and came back from them, and finally, how her life was cut so tragically short. She was just 27 when she died from cervical cancer on Mother’s Day 2009, leaving two young sons, Bobby then aged five and Freddy, four.
As her mum Jackiey explained in Jade’s book: Forever in My Heart: The Story Of My Battle Against Cancer, published weeks after her death, “Of all her achievements, Bobby and Freddy are the ones that Jade is most proud of. They became her world and the money from her fame let her give them the life she never had.”
I was in the GMTV green room once with Jade and Bobby, when he was about eight or nine months old. No offence to my own child, but Bobby was the best looking baby I have ever seen. His mum was absolutely delighted with him of course – but so was everyone else in the room. The kid had bucketloads of charisma and he wasn’t even a year old. As he grew, his X factor was obvious to all, not least Jade.
Jade Goody leaves the Big Brother house in 2002 (PA Archive/PA Images)In her book, she wrote about going to see him performing in December 2008. “Bobby’s school play was at 4pm. It’s a nativity play in the local church and he is singing in a choir. He was fantastic - a real natural on stage. Afterwards I gave him a big hug and told him how proud I was. Bobby is such a little star.”
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Bobby had the genes – dad Jeff Brazier is also a TV personality – the looks, and the first few years of his life were spent on sets, in dressing rooms and doing OK! magazine shoots. It’s always been pretty clear what his future had in store for him. He’s about to win the nation over on the BBC ’s Strictly Come Dancing, but this week at the National Television Awards, he picked up the Rising Star Award for his role as Freddie Slater in EastEnders.
It was quite a moment. For him, and his family, yes, but also for everyone who remembers that poignant shot of Bobby and Freddy in their father’s arms on the steps of Jade’s hospital, wearing matching UGG boots. It was one of the last times we saw them for years, as their father made the wise decision to take them out of the spotlight when Jade died. They could return to it when and if they chose to.
Not many parents ever get a thank you, let alone a nationally televised one, but when Bobby, 20, credited his win to Jeff, and the positive “because I can” attitude he’s instilled in his sons – against quite some odds – it felt utterly deserved. That Bobby said it, shared his triumph, is further testament to the man his dad has raised him to be.
Bobby has admitted, with heart-breaking honesty, that he can’t really remember Jade, and talked about the struggle to separate the footage he’s watched, photos he’s seen and millions of stories he’s been told from what he genuinely recalls experiencing. “I’m always being told about her and what she meant to people. I guess I know my mum through other people’s memories of my mum,” he has said.
Freddy and Bobby, with dad Jeff, at hospital during Jade's cancer fight (Sunday Mirror)
Jade was a doting mother to her two boys (PA Photos)He clearly feels a strong connection to her though. In March, Bobby posted some new modelling shots on social media, captioned: “Genes on his side, god in his heart and Goody as his guide.” Not being around for your children is every mother’s worst nightmare, and as much as Jade tried to remain positive throughout her illness, she was obviously tortured by thoughts of the worst happening.
In November 2008, she wrote, “I keep thinking about what will happen to my boys if I am not here any more. Yes, they would go and live with Jeff - but even thinking about it tears me apart. Not because he can’t do it, but because my kids are only little and they need their mum. Whatever else I may be, I know I’m a bloody good mum. I am their rock. They only go and see their dad every other weekend. I teach them manners, take them to football, tell them off if they’re naughty, and read their bedtime stories. There is no one else who can do it like I can.
“I worry if I’m not here to do it, will it be done properly? Will they have the right school uniform and eat up their dinners? Oh god – what if the worst happens and they forget me? Freddy is only four, so he won’t remember much. Bobby is a bit more grown-up and realises more is wrong.
“I keep thinking what I remember from that age, and it’s not much. What if they never know how much I love them, how proud of them I am? They are the best thing I have ever achieved and I might not be here to tell them that. It’s like a whole new world of pain whenever I think about it.”
As well as the trials of cancer, the book details everyday events and small joys. “I love watching my boys playing together,” writes Jade. “They are such different personalities. Bobby is quite sensitive – he can tell when things aren’t right – and he’s very loving. Freddy is a gorgeous kid too but is much more wild.”
Bobby as Freddie Slater in Albert Square (BBC/Jack Barnes/Kieron McCarron)Unfortunately, as we all know, Jade’s worst nightmare came true, and in February 2009 she was given the news that she didn’t have long left to live. She writes in the book about the boys visiting her in hospital and how she couldn’t stop hugging them and smelling their hair. “My two little bombs of energy. I only wished I felt stronger today. I am so tired and weak.”
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The next day Jeff rang, talking about Bobby being in his school play as a DJ, and saying that he’d videoed it for Jade as she’d been too sick to attend. She recalls agonising over how to drop the bombshell to her sons. “How does a mummy tell her children such a thing? I can’t bear it.”
Guiding Bobby and Freddy through their grief – strong, stable, solid – has been dad Jeff. He got his sons counselling, gave them space to express anger when they felt it, navigated difficult anniversaries, rites of passage, and all the other impossibilities of growing up without their beloved mum.
Jeff’s talked openly about how hard it’s been, and the doubts he’s had at times about the decisions he’s made. So when Bobby Brazier stood on the NTA stage, award in hand, and said, “This has very little to do with me, and everything to do with my dad,” it wasn’t just Jeff wiping a tear away.
But it’s hard to believe many older viewers weren’t thinking of Jade. Much derided and much loved, Jade who thought “East Angular” was abroad, not Norfolk and Suffolk. Jade who never stopped thinking of her boys. As at the very end of Forever in My Heart, the acknowledgement reads: “All the royalties of this book will go to Jade’s boys, Bobby and Freddy.”
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