'I rang the chemo bell twice. I know now I won't be ringing it again'

06 September 2023 , 20:56

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'We’re all on our own pathways here on the great chemo ward conveyor belt' (Image: Andy Stenning/Daily Mirror)

You walk towards that consultant’s door and tell yourself “I’m OK”. Then you reach it and know you’re really not.

I took sister Anne with me on Monday for my scan results and we were both nervous. But this time, it was good news.

For starters, I was actually walking – my mobility has improved for some time, and deep down I’d hoped that was a good sign (although I’m still forgetting words – but at least that’s funny).

Turns out, I was right. “I can honestly say these scans are great,” said my lovely consultant. Those words. Few could sound sweeter. The relief rolled over me like a wave. Thank God. My tumours are stable and haven’t got any bigger. The chemo is keeping them at bay for now. So, we carry on. Every three weeks, for as long as I can tolerate it.

I went off to have my sixth cycle then. It’s become a way of life now. I have my cancer book – a title I never thought I’d have in my library – with all my bloods, weight and so on recorded (I’ve lost 4kg, although I reckon I could live off what’s left for some time). I know the nurses — they’re a great ear, they listen if you need to chat or are feeling low. And I people-watch, listen to the bleeps and the clapping when those finishing treatment ring the bell. That’s lovely, I’m always happy for them, but I rang that bell twice. And I know now I won’t be ringing it again.

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That doesn’t make me angry though, we’re all on our own pathways here on the great chemo ward conveyor belt. And for now, mine runs straight ahead. So what better reason for a full Nolan turnout?

Although this week, it was for our dear late mum. On Sunday, we had the great honour of cutting the ribbon on the new Nolan Daycare Centre, in Lytham St Annes, Lancs, in memory of Mum, who suffered from Alzheimer’s.

We were humbled, drank champagne — and were eternally grateful for full-size scissors (we’re often presented with nail scissors at ribbon cuttings – the pitfalls of being a Nolan and not a monarch).

We honestly couldn’t have been more touched. By the name, as well as the scissors. Naturally, I popped Anne and Denise on the waiting list immediately.

Linda Nolan