Melania Trump 'made true feelings towards Donald clear in split-second move'
When Donald and Melania Trump packed up their bags and prepared to move out of the White House, there was much discussion about the state of their marriage.
Their time as President and First Lady was filled with awkward moments, missed kissed and unwanted hand-holding attempts. There were even many reports that the Slovenian model was "counting every minute until he is out of office and she can divorce", however publicly she released messages of support for her husband. After analysing the couple's behaviour for The Mirror, body language expert Bruce Durham believes that while Melania was a vital support to Trump at the beginning of his presidency, his "lack of empathy, care or even consideration" may be the reason this has changed.
He explains: "We have all been there and done it. Had a raging argument with our loved ones then as soon as that doorbell rings, we open it up and greet the visitor as if we are the most in love couple to ever grace the earth! In a split second we go from a more raw authentic form of ourselves into what we believe is more of a socially acceptable presentation of how a couple should be. You know exactly what I am talking about! But what about when you are the most powerful man on the planet? And, more interestingly, how does this impact his loved one in the case, Melania Trump?
Donald Trump's mugshot (Getty Images)"Instead of a scalding eye when no one is looking, what clues can we take from a body language analysis perspective when two people are very guarded because the entire world is watching. Well the beautiful thing about body language is that it is autonomous. It is an automatic reaction that we have no control of. In a heartbeat, a glance, a move, a body reaction can give us a veritable banquet of feelings to observe and discuss. There have been many questions surrounding the state of Donald and Melania’s marriage. And now that Donald is the outgoing President, is she looking for the exit and are the dynamics changing now that the need for the ‘Imposter Syndrome’ to be present is reducing as each day goes by..?
"So, lets have a look here from a body language perspective to see what Melania is thinking and feeling in regards to her emotional connection to Donald Trump. Interestingly, from an emotional perspective during the Presidents inaugural first dance, it’s Donald who looks uncomfortable here. Now, we all have a relative who ‘dances like a grandad’ way before his time (I put myself in that bracket) but Donald is truly uncomfortable in this situation. In psychology we talk about Individualised Zone of Optimum Function – when you are in ‘the zone’ or have hit your sweet spot of performance.
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"In this dance, we see a glimpse into the fundamental lack of emotional connectivity surrounding Donald. Yes, he is great with numbers but as often with people like this, they can often struggle with the human connection. Melania to her credit, is trying to guide Donald into having a simple dance. She is much calmer in this situation. While Donald is talking, she is the one who is putting up with it as she knows that talking is his way of fumbling through something that he does not enjoy or connect with.
"While Donald is fumbling around trying to find his feet, Melania is all smiles, wide hand on his back trying to guide his shoulders in the direction of what would be viewed as a dance. On occasion she uses her body, leaning in the direction that she wants Donald to follow. She knows that in this situation, in this specific five minutes, she is his only support mechanism and is happy to offer that helping hand, even though at points she too looks very uncomfortable.
"What makes this quite humorous, akin to Fawlty Towers, is that Donald is sublimely unaware that he looks uncomfortable or that he is out of his depth. Even in this situation, his acknowledged narcissistic tendencies are in full flow. And, is it these specific tendencies over time that are the reason we see Melania turning from his rock of support, to fully focused on taking care of only herself? Has the lack of empathy, care or even consideration from Donald played it’s part in changing her behaviours?"
Bruce also uses his expertise to try and explain the many awkward moments where Melania appears to snatch her hand away when her husband tries to hold it. He goes on: "One great example of Melania looking to focus on herself more is that famous short clip of when after the Presidential debate, Melania removes her hand from Donald. Many people used the term ‘snatched’ her had away. One could ponder about this, was it intentional, what caused her to do this or have we simply looked too much into it?
"Well let’s take a look at Melania’s ‘base line’ body language behaviour, and indeed her average emotional giveaways. So, most of the time (which is what we refer to as the base line of a subject’s behaviour) she is happy to play her part which means playing second fiddle to Donald.
"She is there as part of the cast. She looks to Donald for direction as she is happy to accept her role in this play. She smiles when required, stands where needed, brings beauty to the portrait that Donald is trying to paint. But what we see in the short clip walking off stage from the Presidential debate is her taking the lead. She waits for no signal, no instruction, she is headed off and Donald can follow her if he wants, it matters not to Melania. Now this is very different to her average body language behaviour.
"And how we know it is different is if you watch the reaction of Donald. This is key for affirming and deciphering the ‘critical T junction’ of two parties body language interacting. You can tell from Donald’s reaction that he was not expecting that. Usually, Donald is looking out into the audience aware that all eyes are on him.
"This time, he is shocked by Melania’s forthright action of pulling away. His head turns round and looks at her as if to figure out what is going on. She is in the lead, he doesn’t need to look at her, he usually doesn’t look at her, but now his head snaps around to try and understand the situation.
"And just like many people in a negative situation (husbands especially will get this when we have wronged our partners...), he then reaches as if to try and keep an unwanted connection (at least from Melania’s perspective) as he is all lost at sea without his rudder, if only for that particular moment.
"Now why this is interesting is that, in this moment, it’s unplanned. There is no structure around it. She has fulfilled her role and is off – job done. When you look at something more formal like the official lighting of the White House Christmas tree video you can see Donald is again in charge. Melania stands to the side, looking straight at Donald.
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"She is there with him but it’s not a joined-up delivery, very much her again as the supporting act. Even as he counts down, she is playing catch up with him so she can press the button according to his timing. She is fulfilling a role here. Walking off the stage when she snatches her hand away, and the way that Donald reacts to that, gives us a glimpse of what is really going on inside her head and heart."
But the big question on everyone's lips is whether their marriage will leave after they leave the White House. Bruce says: "With Donald’s lack of empathy towards others, with his belief that it’s all about him, with him dripping in narcissistic behaviours and with the rumours of Donald having affairs, has Melania in her own head accepted that love in the heart is worth more than dollars in the purse?
"Is she ready to leave as the stage show is coming to an end and she feels that she does not need to play that character anymore? Well from a base line body language analyses perspective, the tide is turning, something is shifting, and it would not be a surprise that if she didn’t leave him, she takes on a more powerful and formidable role in the relationship moving forward. And good on her I say!"
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