'After 50 rounds of chemo, I'm grateful for the good things cancer has given me'

24 August 2023 , 10:51

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Roisin says her cancer treatments have allowed her to do things she was once scared of

This week, I went for my 50th chemo on the same line and I am grateful beyond belief for what those 50 doses have given me. They've given me hope and joy and belief and love and dreams come true. They've given hope to others in similar situations and given my kids their mummy, my parents their daughter and they've even given me a husband!

Through 50 cycles of Palbociclib, Zoladex, Zometa and Letrozole, I have survived breast cancer. Not just survived though, I've thrived! I've achieved things I didn't think would ever be possible in those early dark days back in 2018. That was when doctors told me they would give me 12 rounds of chemo and radio and that would be that. They told me they'd save other lines of treatment I'd asked about for 'when' it started to grow again. I couldn't accept that, I wanted to throw every single drop of medicine I could at my tumours and thankfully, I got a second opinion at the wonderful Christie Hospital in Manchester.

Roisin is so thankful to see her children grow up (Roisin Pelan)

They told me my cancer was at a very rare stage; not stage 4 because it hadn't spread to my bones or organs, but stage 3C because It had spread to high up in my neck, my supraclavicular, my underarm lymph nodes and behind the breast nodes. But unlike my current oncologist, they were willing to throw everything they could at it. I remember skipping out of the hospital that day with the first crumb of hope I'd been given since they told me I was no longer curable.

Many treatment lines later, as well as a mammoth surgery which had originally been declined, I got to NED!!!! For those not in the know, that's 'no evidence of disease'. Since 2019, I have remained on the same treatment line as although I have no evidence of disease, I'm still classed as incurable because my stage and grade have a very high chance of coming back - although i have no intention of that happening. On 20th September this year, I will celebrate five years all clear!

I know so many people don't have any luck with the many lines of treatment I've had and I'm always always praying for more trials and more treatment lines to keep people alive longer. Throughout the five years of all clear, I've done things I wouldn't have dared to before - and that is the joy of living a life you might not have for long. It allows you to see and feel how magnificent your life is; every nook and cranny is appreciated and longed for. You'd listen to your kids' tantrums forever if it meant you didn't have to die. You'd live in a cardboard box if it meant you stayed alive. But better than that - it allowed me to be unafraid of things I'd been scared of before.

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Roisin was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2014 (Roisin Pelan)

I wrote a children's book!!! I've wanted to write books since I could read and a cancer diagnosis was what it took for me to say "f*** it." I self published 'Shiny Happy Horace' and I have so many more ready to go for when my big break comes in. I quit my job and started my own business! I love what I do now. I never have that horrible feeling that I lived with for so many years of not wanting to go into work in a place that didn't fulfil me.

I raised thousands upon thousands for charity. I climbed mountains with strangers for Coppafeel and gained some of the most incredible friends who I know I will love forever. And I'm about to do it all again in a couple of weeks in the French Alps. We got to adopt our son, and he has given us the greatest life possible. I've spoken at events about my diagnosis to hundreds of people. In my previous life, I would try to skip school and university if I ever had a presentation to do because I was painfully shy. Now look at me! I love my life.

Now she's written a children's book (Roisin Pelan)

I've collaborated with the NHS to create a leaflet talking about breast cancer in pregnancy which is now distributed digitally and physically throughout the country, helping women to become aware of the risks of breast cancer during and after pregnancy. That feeling - knowing you're helping to make a difference - and possibly save a life - you cant beat it!

The side effects of being on treatment for this long are, as you'd expect, pretty harsh and at times and very difficult to live with. I'm entitled to be unhappy about those - they're frustrating and painful and exhausting. But give me life and hopes and dreams and bedtime smooches with my babies and love and mountain climbs with strangers and books and business and adventures any day of the week.

So here's to five years of extra life and to the many more that I'm manifesting. Life is fragile, it's fleeting, it's beautiful, it's everything. Take a moment if you're reading this to really be thankful for all the little things that you would miss if you didn't have long left. It really makes you value it all.

I hope that someone can read this today and gather some hope from my story. I was once that deer in the headlights, searching desperately for stories of hope and possibility. I know how utterly terrifying and desperate that feeling of despair is. Please keep my story in your thoughts when the fear starts to take over. I'm sending so much love and strength to anyone who is going through what can only ever be described as hell.

Thank you to our incredible NHS and my amazing team who keep me alive, for natural supplements I've found, for CBD oil, for friends and family and strangers, for people on my social media who have cheered me on every single step of the way. It feels amazing to be alive.

To find out more about Roisin's journey and to support her business, visit the Fighty Pants website, Instagram or Facebook.

Roisin Pelan