Lisa Snowdon admits life 'hasn't worked out way she imagined' in candid chat
Lisa Snowdon said that her life "hasn't worked out the way she imagined" and admitted to feeling a "little pang of sadness" to friends or family members' pregnancies.
The model turned TV presenter, 51, appeared on Tuesday's episode of Lorraine to discuss her new powerful book Just Getting Started, where she details her fertility struggles, hormones and menopause in a bid to help other women.
Speaking to guest host Ranvir Singh, Lisa admitted feeling guilty to having emotions of envy, jealousy and pangs of sadness to her loved ones' pregnancies. She said: "It's such a horrible emotion to feel, to admit to - the word jealousy, envy, all those things they conjure up. I felt guilty and shame for feeling like that, unless you haven't become a mum or you've been trying to become a mum, you don't realise that feeling. That little pang of sadness.
Lisa Snowdon said that her life 'hasn't worked out the way she imagined'"This was a stronger emotion for me after I miscarried in my early forties. When that happened, it took me a few years to come to terms with the fact that this isn't going to be for me, in this lifetime, but it didn't stop me feeling that sadness. I was overjoyed for them and those kids are amazing but you just can't help it."
Lisa added: "It's just really trying to dig deep and be like my life hasn't worked out how I imagined it to be, but let's reframe it - what is positive around me, what do I love in my life, who have I got in my life that I'm happy to be with, happy to be around. I'm trying to change that thought process.
Lisa Snowdon was told to lose weight so quit modelling and hasn't looked back
"If I was still in mourning for the child that I lost, you know, I would never be content in what I'm doing. I would just have this sadness around me all the time. And I had to pick myself up and just be focused and look around and be grateful for what I actually do have and that's all I want, it is a book about hope."
It comes after Lisa questioned whether she lost her "one shot" at being a mother after she got an abortion in her early 20s. Years later, the 51-year-old fell pregnant again and hoped to raise the baby as a single mother.
The model turned TV presenter, 51, appeared on Tuesday's episode of LorraineHowever, moments before going on air on the LBC morning radio show she used to present for, she started to bleed and ended up suffering a miscarriage. The star couldn't help but believe the miscarriage was some form of "punishment" for the abortion she had all those years ago.
She opened up about how the first pregnancy could have been her "one shot" at motherhood and how she tormented herself with dark thoughts about what could have been. "I'd think, 'Was that my chance and it's gone? Is this my punishment? Maybe I don't deserve to be a mother because I did that," she revealed.
The endless dark thoughts she had don't change the fact that she "stands by" her decision to have an abortion as she wasn't with the "right man" at the time. She went on to explain how the father never showed up for the first doctor's appointment when she fell pregnant.
Speaking to MailOnline, she added: "If I'd had the baby, I'd have been connected to that man for the rest of my life." Lisa recently revealed she is "at peace" with the fact she won't be having children. The TV presenter, who has been engaged to fiancé George since 2016, previously revealed that she went through early menopause when she was just 44 years old, and as a result, she will no longer be able to have biological children with him.
If you have been affected by this story, advice and support can be found at the Miscarriage Association. You can call them on 01924 200799 or email [email protected]
Read more similar news:
Comments:
comments powered by Disqus
