'My mum-in-law is ruining our dream wedding - she wants control over guestlist'

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One bride-to-be is fed up of her mother-in-law trying to plan the wedding (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
One bride-to-be is fed up of her mother-in-law trying to plan the wedding (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Weddings are the perfect time for families to come together as well as close friends and share the special day, and planning the wedding can be an exciting time for the happily engaged couple - but what happens when family members try and intrude in the planning give their two pence to every decision?

A woman has shared in a rant that her dream wedding plans are getting ruined by her mother-in-law who keeps interfering with their big day. The parent is trying to force the couple to ditch their dream wedding, derailing their hopes for the sake of her own wants.

After the bride-to-be explained that her and her fiancé wanted a small, indoor wedding, the mother-in-law shared her disgust and told the couple that they should be getting married at her 'favourite park'. She's also insisting there should be alcohol provided otherwise 'no one would come' - much to the couples frustrations.

Sharing her situation on Reddit, the fed up bride-to-be asked for advice on how to make her stop getting involved, as she wrote: "So to start, I got engaged this July and it was fine. Only thing that ruined it a bit is my f-MIL arriving minutes after and bombarding me with questions on the wedding.

"I answered them all with 'I'm not sure' (lady I JUST got proposed to). A week later my SO [significant other] speaks to her, and she starts telling him all of the people he NEEDS to invite. She was talking for ten minutes just saying people's names for him to write down. I intervened and told her we were trying to keep a small, dry wedding, indoors, with just loved ones.

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"Well she didn't like that and insisted we do the wedding at her favourite park, said we NEED to have alcohol or no one will come, and that she wanted to invite 200+ people so we needed to adjust our head count from 50-100 or 'cut some people out' meaning my family, as she had no intentions of cutting any of her people out.

"Mind you, my SO doesn't get along with most of his family, so he only intended on bringing certain members and his friends. Now f-MIL is guilting him into inviting all of HER friends and his entire family. I have tried talking about this with her, and even found the PERFECT budget-friendly location that has a max guest count of 180 people, but she immediately shot it down and continued pushing.

"Me and my SO are paying for this wedding by ourselves and I don't want her input but she won't stop despite my pleas. I am to the point where I just want to get married at a courthouse with my family there and be done with it, even though that means I'll never have the wedding of my dreams. Sigh. Not sure what to do anymore. Every time I or my SO brings this up she guilts us into submission, not sure how to win this battle."

People have been eager to chime in with suggestions on how to help, as one Redditor commented: "You and your fiancé need to be a united front. Decide what YOU TWO want, and make it clear that is what will be happening."

Another person argued: "You don't have to do what she says. Just smile, nod and do what you were going to do anyway. If she is not paying she has literally no say," before a third added: "Oh, this is easy. Find a larger venue that would support her needs, then have your fiancé lay out what it would cost, along with increased costs for catering, bartending, and everything else. No check, no opinion."

Niamh Kirk

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