Mark Cavendish's harrowing confession and baby who pulled him through dark times
Tour de France great Mark Cavendish says his cycling-mad “miracle” baby girl has pulled him through the darkest of times and given him hope. Mark, 38, who fights clinical depression, and wife Peta welcomed Ashford into the world in August last year.
And it looks like the tot may have inherited some of her dad’s immense talent on two wheels. Like her brother Casper, five, she rode a balance bike before turning one. Mark shows me phone footage of her skills and beams: “Ashford is obsessed with the bike and she’s only 11 months.
“Casper was on his balance bike at the same age. He was never watching Peppa Pig, he was watching cycling and he still does. I would never wish to go through what I went through again but I’m happy that I did because now I understand what’s important in life. I’m not completely blinkered with cycling anymore. I don’t take anything for granted. Life’s busy. It’s great though.”
Baby Ashford had been unexpected. Ex-model Peta, who is also mum to Finnbar, 17, Delilah, 11, and Frey, seven, had missed several months of periods. Doctors were investigating whether the then 35-year-old had early menopause only to discover she was pregnant. The news was a shock but a welcome focus for the couple, whose marriage had been pushed to the brink during a five-year period where Mark failed to win a single major race until 2021.
Mark Cavendish with his partner Peta and their four kids (@MarkCavendish)Then, in November that year, they were robbed at knifepoint in their home in Ongar, Essex. The culprits were jailed in February. Now Mark is a joint record holder for Tour de France stage wins with legendary Belgian racer record holder Eddy Merckx. Both have finished first in 34. But behind his success the black clouds of depression have hung over him, with pals worried he could have harmed himself during those dark days.
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He speaks candidly about his condition in new documentary, Mark Cavendish: Never Enough, out on Netflix on Wednesday. He admits he was a “nightmare to live with” as he rowed with team management, struggled with diet and was axed from 2019 Tour selection. Peta recalls how Mark, who she wed in 2013, would get “irrationally cross” and feared she would walk out on their marriage.
She said: “I was sleeping in the same bed as him, cooking for him, cleaning for him, trying to make sure that he was OK, trying to fix him – and it would be like: ‘If you hadn’t let me be on my own all that time maybe we wouldn’t be here’. I was scared I was going to go past my limit and not be able to come back again.”
Mark says he does not believe he would have pulled through without his wife. While Peta credits their kids for giving her the strength she needed to stand by him. She says: “The kids, no matter what else was going on, the normal everyday stuff had to carry on. They still had to have their uniforms ready, they still had to go to school, we still had to listen to somebody who had fallen out with somebody. I like to be in control of things."
He spoke candidly about his condition in new documentary, Mark Cavendish: Never Enough, out on Netflix on Wednesday. He admitted he was a “nightmare to live with” as he rowed with team management, struggled with diet and was axed from 2019 Tour selection.
Mike Cavendish, Peta Todd and their children Finnbar, 17, Delilah, 11, and Frey, 7 (Dave J Hogan/Getty Images)Peta recalled how Mark, whom she wed in 2013, would get “irrationally cross” and feared she would walk out on their marriage.
She said: “I was sleeping in the same bed as him, cooking for him, cleaning for him, trying to make sure that he was OK, trying to fix him – and it would be like: ‘If you hadn’t let me be on my own all that time maybe we wouldn’t be here’. I was scared I was going to go past my limit and not be able to come back again.”
“I like to fix problems, so that was really difficult because I couldn’t fix (Mark). It was a case of holding on and hoping each day was going to be that day where we’re one step closer to coming out on the other side.”
Mark was formally diagnosed with clinical depression in 2018. Around the same time, he had been involved in two horror crashes which saw him break bones, almost lose a finger and discover he had “a hole in my shoulder blade”. After riding the highs and lows of the sport, does Mark encourage his kids to follow in his tracks?
Mark says: “Delilah used to ride. She started when she was young and I was super proud of it but she kind of drifted away from it. She does gymnastics. We encourage them to do anything – the one thing I ask is that they do it 100%. With Finny, we sometimes clash when I don’t think he’s giving his all. He’s a teenager, but we have -conversations because I can’t relate to it. I think he’s lazy, but he’s not – he’s normal. I’m the anomaly.”
Mark says he is now learning to live with depression. He says: “It never goes – you learn to deal with it. It’s not like having a cold and then you get better. The best way to describe it is that you can feel a slow descent. Before, I’d never know until it’s too late. First and foremost I try to limit isolation and have people around me who I know are real. I don’t feel sorry for myself and I don’t want anybody to feel sorry for me. Depression isn’t an emotion. It’s something you can’t control.”
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Mark, who is set to retire from pro cycling this year, missed the chance to win a record-breaking 35th Tour stage this month. He will not reveal if he is going to compete in next year’s Tour. He adds: “I’ll carry on for as long as I can win but since we’ve finished the film it’s changed a bit. I’m happy – I’m super content.”
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