Bazball is great fun but its hubris cost England the Ashes - not the rain
Ben Stokes is right. This England team will be remembered forever – as the side who dropped the Ashes in a thrilling summer.
Instead of lamenting the rain in Manchester, where brolly seemed to be the hardest word and the lucky Aussies absconded with the urn after a draw they did not deserve, England should be 3-0 up and out of sight by now, not 2-1 down.
But they have been undone by their own Bazball hubris where just a few shafts of ruthless pragmatism, and more streetwise cricket, would have served them well.
First things first: Bazball is brilliant to watch. Zak Crawley's blistering 189 at Old Trafford, Jonny Bairstow's rollicking 99 not out, captain Stokes spanking nine sixes at Lord's and Mark Wood's 96.5mph express pace at Headingley all belong on any Ashes highlights reel.
To tonk the Aussies for 592 at almost six runs an over gave the Baggy Greens a taste of their own medicine – with a strawberry on top.
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They looked chastened, ragged and cut down to size for three days in Manchester, and we loved it. Absolutely loved it.
But here's the catch, Ben. You say this isn't a results-driven England side, that entertaining the masses is the priority – and there's no dispute, you have royally entertained us with this devil-may-care approach for 18 months.
Stokes and his side let themselves down at key times (PA)Sorry to be the grumpy neighbour who asks to turn the music down a notch when your house party's in full swing, but when England play Australia, winning the Ashes is what matters most. In fact, it's the only thing that matters.
That's why posh toffs in the Long Room lost their rag when they thought the Aussies had driven a coach and horses through the spirit of cricket after Bairstow was controversially stumped at Lord's.
That's why England's noisiest supporters have been goading Steve Smith, the sultan of sandpaper, with a chorus about him crying on the telly to get under the Aussies' skin.
Yes, the Bazball's great fun and we're proud of it – but it would be even sweeter if it led to the repatriation of an antique urn.
Even Aussie legend Glenn McGrath thinks the prize should have changed hands this summer, saying: “England should be up 3-0. And why aren't they? Because they don't have the intensity they need.
“Bazball's great, but if you're just joking around and taking it casually, things are going to happen like dropped catches and all these little things that make a good team into a great team.”
Glenn McGrath has delivered his verdict on the Ashes so far (Getty Images)When England's fate was sealed under weeping skies at Old Trafford, Stokes insisted he would not have done anything differently over the past six weeks.
Look away now, skipper, because here's how it could – and should – have been a different story:
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Declaring on 393-8 on the first evening at Edgbaston with centurion Joe Root in full cry: It was peak Bazball audacity to have a dart at the Aussie openers for 20 minutes, but it didn't work. Rule one in Ashes combat: Give the Aussies nothing, but that ceasefire gave them just enough time to sneak a two-wicket win in a 'nipper.' It was reminiscent of England declaring on 551-6 in Adelaide 17 years ago, with Freddie Flintoff at the crease, and they managed to lose that match, too.
England threw too many cheap wickets away at Lord's (PA)Tossing it away at Lord's: England were flying at 180-1 in their first innings, Australia had just seen their 496-wicket spinner Nathan Lyon hobble out of the series with a torn calf muscle, and in desperation they resorted to a bouncer barrage. Unbelievably, Ollie Pope, Ben Duckett (two short of his century) and Root all fell into the trap in a kamikaze spasm where risk far outweighed reward. Being bowled out for 325 instead of matching Australia's 416 proved fatal.
Don't blame Bairstow: It was always ambitious to recall the king of Bazball nine months after a serious accident left his ankle knitted together by nine metal pins, a six-inch plate and wire thread and ask him to keep wicket. Bairstow shelled six chances, of varying difficulty, plus a missed stumping in the first three games, when Ben Foakes was available. That call is on the selectors – Bairstow should have begun the series as a specialist batsman.
It looks like the end for Jimmy Anderson: He has been the most economical bowler on either side, but four wickets at 76.75 each tells its own grievous story – England's greatest Test wicket-taker of all time may have to pull up the stumps on 688. Although you can attribute his drastically reduced impact to sluggish pitches at Edgbaston and Lord's, the 'snap' has gone. The Aussies feel less threatened by Anderson than Josh Tongue.
Preparation, preparation, preparation: The relaxed demeanour and club cricket vibes are essential components of the Bazball mindset, and all hail to the leadership for establishing an ethos where fear and anxiety are replaced by smiles and freedom of expression. But when catches are going down, perhaps a little more intensity in practice wouldn't go amiss instead of keepy-uppy football on the outfield. Enjoy the golf course, lads, but elite sport comes with elite preparation – not endless hours of footslog, just fine-tuning which might tip the balance amid fine margins.
Tossing away the advantage: Stokes won four consecutive tosses in advantageous conditions in at least three of the venues (Lord's, Headingley and Old Trafford) – and to be 2-1 down, with the urn gone, suggests England have not made the most of his fortune. There was o problem with England batting on, and stretching their lead to 275, while Bairstow ran amok at Old Trafford. But it only magnifies the original talking point of the series: Why did you declare at Edgbaston?
England failed to make the most of winning the toss in all four matches (Getty Images)As for the Aussies: You lucky cobbers.
But our friends in Baggy Greens played the smarter cricket when the contest was tight at Edgbaston and Lord's. It wasn't as exciting as Bazball, but it got the job done.
And it's hollow to lament the rain which allowed only 30 overs over the last two days at Old Trafford, affording the Aussies their escape route.
Back in 2013, England retained the Ashes after a draw when they were staring down the barrel in Manchester until rain came to their rescue, so let's not bleat about the weather gods when the boot's on the other foot.
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