'My son donated his liver to save another boy – his legacy lives on in others'
When Doroti Polgar reads a moving poem at the British Transplant Games opening ceremony on Thursday, at one point she will pause for 21 seconds of silence.
Each one will mark every precious year of the life of the donor who gave her little brother Kristof the chance to still be here to compete. And watching with tears in their eyes will be her grateful mother Erika – side by side with donor Justin’s mum Angela Land.
The two bonded after 21-year-old Justin suddenly passed away at home in 2011.
He made it clear he wanted to donate his organs. That gesture meant part of his liver went to Kristof, then just two, who had a life-threatening condition.
The transplant saved him and by the age of three he was ball-throwing with other tots at the 2012 British Transplant Games.
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Erika, Kristof, Doroti and CsabaHe has competed every year since – winning 17 British gold medals and seven World gold medals in table tennis, badminton and tennis.
Now both proud mums will be cheering the 15-year-old lad on in this year’s Coventry Games. They met after Angela wrote letters of introduction passed on to the five people saved by Justin’s organs three years after his death.
She got four replies and found Erika’s on behalf of Kristof struck a chord in her heart.
Angela, 58, who has two other sons, Matthew, 35, and Alex, 18, says: “I wrote to say ‘I hope you’re recovering. It was my son who donated his organ to you and I hope it will help you live a long and happy life’. I attached a photo of Justin. I wanted to shout from the rooftops, ‘Look at my gorgeous son who has helped you live a longer life’.”
Justin passed away in 2011The two mums agreed to meet along with their families for a walk and pub lunch in December 2016. Erika says: “It was wonderful to be able to hug each other and say thank you in person. After those first few minutes with Angela, it felt like we had known each other for years.”
Accountant Angela adds: “Erika immediately hugged me and we were all tearful. It was lovely to see Kristof looking so healthy and he gave me a big hug too.”
Since that day, the two mums have met many times. Angela says: “We WhatsApp each other and have visited each other’s homes. I feel so comforted by the connection we have.” Erika adds: “If something is going on in our lives, Angela will always know about it. We visited a nature reserve where Justin’s ashes were scattered. It was his favourite place. Angela is like extended family now. I’m so grateful for that.”
Her sentiments are echoed by husband Csaba, 46, and poet daughter Doroti, 18, who says: “I am endlessly grateful to Justin and Angela. Justin gave Kristof his life back.”
Doroti with Kristof as childrenTwo months after Kristof was born in 2008, he was diagnosed with progressive familial intrahepatic cholestasis (PFIC), a rare inherited condition in which the liver cannot drain bile. Erika, who works for the NHS, says: “His skin and the whites of his eyes turned yellow and he was itching all over. It was heartbreaking. When he was one, he couldn’t even sit up because he didn’t have enough muscle mass, as he couldn’t absorb nutrients from his food.”
Kristof was at first given stabilising medication at Birmingham Children’s Hospital, but his family were told he needed a liver transplant. Two possible transplants fell through.
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But a third chance came with Justin’s donated organ in February 2011.
Erika says: “We were very aware that Kristof only had that chance because someone else’s loved one had passed away.”
Doroti with Kristof in hospitalMeanwhile in Bath, Angela went into her son’s bedroom to wake him up and tell him she was going to work.
She says: “I asked if he was OK and he said ‘Yes, have a good day Mum.’ That was the last time we spoke.
“I kissed him on the head and that was it. I went to work and the police called me to say, ‘Can you get home quickly.’” Justin died in hospital three days later. Six months earlier, out of the blue, he had told Angela he wanted to be an organ donor. She says: “It was devastating when we lost Justin, but we didn’t think twice about donating his organs, because I knew that’s what he wanted.
“He has left behind a legacy - his organs saved the lives of five people, including Kristof.
Angela hugs Kristof
Kristof is living a full life after childhood illness”Justin’s liver was split between Kristof and another man, a kidney went to a woman and his lungs and pancreas were donated to two other men.” Erica says: “For relatives to think of saving strangers’ lives when something like this happens is incredibly difficult. That generosity and selflessness is overwhelming.”
Two-year-old Kristof improved within a few days of his operation. Erika says: “The whites of his eyes turned from yellow to white and his skin started to look pink.
“He could sit up within a week or two and by the end of three weeks, he stood up for the first time by himself. He was smiling from ear to ear.”
After a few weeks, Kristof was taking his first steps. That summer, he even began playing tennis. “Once he had his transplant and learnt to walk, there was just no stopping him,” says Erika. Just a year after surgery, Kristof joined the Birmingham Children’s Hospital team at the 2012 British Transplant Games.
Chris, Angela and Justin“He was still very little but he took part, throwing a ball,” Erika says. “We felt so very proud and lucky to be there.” From there, he started playing table tennis, badminton and squash.
And in 2019, Angela and her partner Chris watched Kristof win his gold in Newport. “I thought ‘Wow, Kristof is amazing,” says Angela. “Justin would be happy to know someone is using his liver and making the most of their life.”
The couple were even allowed to present Kristof with his medal.
Kristof, who will participate in tennis, badminton and running at the coming Games, says: “My transplant saved my life. Thanks to Angie and Justin, I have amazing opportunities ahead of me.
“It is so wonderful to have Angie in my life, it’s like gaining another family. I would like to ask people to discuss their wishes with their loved ones, so everyone on the transplant waiting list can be given a second chance.”
On Thursday, his big sister Doroti, who hopes to study English Literature at university, will add her thanks to Justin in her poem with the line ‘that you chose for your last gift on Earth to be the gift of life’ bound to make tears flow.
Doroti says: “I really hope my poem inspires people to have conversations about organ donation.” And Angela is deeply touched by her tribute.
She says: “It was lovely because Doroti feels so grateful to Justin for transforming Kristof’s life.
“Justin left a legacy and he lives on in other people.”
* For info visit childliverdisease.org and organdonation.nhs.uk. For more on the British transplant games go to britishtransplantgames.co.uk
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