'I don’t want my fiancée's dad at our wedding - I can't forgive his comment'

19 July 2023 , 13:01

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A tense engagement dinner led to a heated argument (Stock Photo) (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A bride-to-be says she was infuriated by a homophobic remark her fiancée’s dad made at their engagement dinner and so decided to uninvite him from their wedding altogether.

According to this 32-year-old woman, who refers to herself as Jeana, she and her wife-to-be Zoé, 34, recently celebrated their engagement with loved ones, raising a "toast to new beginnings" over dinner. Everyone in attendance "happily clinked drinks", apart from Zoé's dad, "who just sat there with his arms crossed staring daggers" at Jeana.

When Jeana looked over at Zoé, she saw that she was busy chatting with her brother, and so hadn't seen the way her dad was glaring. Things became heated twenty minutes into the dinner after Jeana overheard a shocking discussion at the other end of the table, where their parents and grandparents were seated.

Taking to Reddit, Jeana recalled: "I heard my mother say, 'Excuse me?' Then I heard Zoé's father say, 'It just isn't natural'. I asked what was going on and the whole end of the table got silent.

"Zoé's father said that he was happy for us but he doesn't like that I'm a girl. I asked him what did he mean by that and he told me our whole engagement was a joke. He actually started to look around for some type of back-up. I laughed and told him if he felt that way not to come to the wedding."

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It was at this point that Zoe's dad got "upset", and proceeded to insist that he was going to go along anyway and that she couldn't "tell him what to do". Jeana made sure to put her "foot down" however, making it clear she didn't want him there on her special day.

She continued: "For years I've had to sit and listen to him talk down on me and Zoé's relationship but this time I wasn't letting it happen.

"But now I regret it because after the party Zoé's mother told me that her family isn't attending the wedding because I told her husband he couldn't come. Now Zoé is extremely upset and has been crying since we got home."

Although Jeana isn't happy at all with how her future father-in-law behaved, she now wonders whether it was wrong to uninvite him altogether.

One fellow Reddit user advised: "Zoé's dad doesn't like it, he can kick rocks. I wouldn't want someone anywhere, especially when drinking is involved, they didn't approve of.

"If the family is taking his side, it means they're just as unsupportive as he is, they just don't vocalise it. I'd apologize to Zoé for not talking with her first about what course to take BUT she should understand that anyone opposed to your wedding shouldn't be there, family or not.

"That is just a powder keg waiting to go off. Like I can clearly see the dad sitting there drinking ready to launch onto a fully homophobic rant during his speech making everyone uncomfortable, especially you and Zoé."

Another commented: "You love who you love, that's life. He's not a nice person and disagrees with his daughter's choice in love. Unfortunately, that's the world we live in.

"If you felt he was going to speak out or do something stupid at the wedding you were right to defend yourself and your fiancé. He's going to miss his daughter in life because she's probably going to have less and less contact with him in the future, good luck with your future wife!"

A third remarked: "[Jeana]is definitely not the ***hole for reacting the way she did. But now she needs to understand how torn, in her very being, Zoé must feel, and - with love - help her find a solution. It may mean accepting this a**hole's presence at the wedding - understanding that Zoé both wants him there AND sees that he's an a**hole too."